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    dots Submission Name: Pawns of Our Dreamsdots

    Author: ShadowedAngel
    ASL Info:    17/M/Hidden
    Elite Ratio:    2.54 - 55/62/29
    Words: 250
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 541
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1513

       Yeah well I think the name on this one should be fairly self explanatory

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPawns of Our Dreamsdots

    The cold clammy hand of death gripping around my mind
    Causing my life to flash before my eyes
    Is this our fate
    To be put through our lives forever more
    Never to wake from this perpetual nightmare
    Our punishment for all the sins committed
    Except here there are no sinners and saints
    All subjected to the same fate of this uncertainty
    Some fill this place with god
    Others with their vices
    Each one of us a "sinner" at heart
    Just causing our own hells
    All whilst trying to make our lives perfect
    Striving for an unatainable goal
    For perfection is beyond the reach of any one person
    For we all see it differently
    We all cause our own little wars out of jealousy
    Bringing others down with us into this gloom
    Deepening the hole with each thought and action
    Is this really the fate of all humans
    To bring the wrath of each other down upon ourselves
    To destroy each other in our search for perfection
    To live in a perpetual dream state
    Never knowing if what we see is the product of our minds or the product of nature
    Maybe on day we will all wake up and see a different person staring back at us
    Just memorys of the past filtered in our dreams for the rest of our lives
    But could you accept this
    That you are just the construct of someones mind
    Part of the inner cogs
    Just a pawn in an endless game of chess

    Submitted on 2006-10-25 15:05:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Maybe on day- Maybe one day

    Overall I thought it was really good. and i somewhat agree. I think we are only sinners if we believe that of ourselves. We bring darkness from oursleves by believing in the evil behind the eyes of darkness. I did like. I don't think it gets full points for originality, but it is still really good. one more thing, maybe try to arrange it into stanzas, i fnind clumps hard to read. Awesome job
    | Posted on 2006-10-27 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ]
      classic. I've heard all these words before. You arranged them a bit differently.


    | Posted on 2006-10-26 00:00:00 | by Mr. Creep | [ Reply to This ]
      what?...so...i'm meaningless?...*sobs*
    wow, you knocked me off guard there! this is excellent. and yeah, longer than the others.
    and you're only 17?? i'm twice that and still can't write like this!!
    this is awesome. and i agree totally. we are all sinners, we do all strive for that one thing we will never get, in order to make our imperfect lives perfect...we are so pathetic!!
    this is a kinda wake up call. i like the way you think.
    great write!
    | Posted on 2006-10-25 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]

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