Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Waking Updots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 662
    Class/Type: Story/Serious
    Total Views: 584
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 3545



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWaking Updots
    -------------------------------------------


    She wakes up with his name on her lips. The dream is already beginning to fade away, but the feeling of unrest remains. Her eyes well up with tears, her heart thuds in her chest. The floodgates break, and tears flow down her cheeks.

    She sits up in the bed, and tosses the blanket aside. Her legs are tangled in the bright red sheet, the skin pale in comparison. She rubs her eyes with the palm of her hand, her skin already beginning to burn from the salt of the tears. She looks around the room, her eyes slowly adjusting to the brightness of the mid-afternoon sun streaming in through the windows.

    The tears have stopped, and she turns to climb out of the bed. Her bare feet touch the floor, then jerk up. The boards are cold. She lowers her feet into the pair of sandals lying beside the bed, and stands up. She gives her oversized t-shirt a tug to straighten it, and runs a hand through her short, black hair. She walks into the bathroom and flips on the light.

    Her hair is sticking up in various places. She sighs, and picks up a brush. She runs the brush through her hair, but it doesn't have the desired effect. The errant hairs continue to defy her. She sighs again, this one louder and more frustrated than the last, and pulls a towel from the rack. She pulls her t-shirt over her head (to keep it dry), and turns on the faucet in the sink. She stands in the bathroom, in the frigid morning air, and waits for the water to warm up. She tests it with her fingers, then cups her palms together, and lets them fill up with water. She bends her head over the sink, and runs her hands through her hair. She repeats this until her hair is thoroughly wet. She turns off the faucet, and watches the water drip off of her head. Then she takes the towel and rubs furiously, soaking up all of the excess water. She drops the towel in the floor and looks at her reflection in the mirror.

    Her hair is sticking up even worse than before, giving her the appearance of a crazed punk rocker. Her face is still dull with sleep, her blue eyes showing the only sign of life. She reaches for her shirt and pulls it back over her head. She runs a brush through her hair, the errant strands now lying down. Satisfied with that, she turns back and goes about the business of brushing her teeth and washing her face.

    She returns to the bedroom, her thoughts turning to the things that she had to accomplish that day. She walks to the closet and begins to flip through the clothes, her actions on autopilot. Her mind tries to recall her dream. All that she can remember is that he was in it, and they were happy. It has been this way since he left, over a year and a half ago. She falls asleep thinking of him, he haunts her dreams, and she wakes up crying. She tries to shake it off and go on about the day, but it becomes a little more difficult every time she has another of the dreams. They're always the same.

    She finishes dressing. She performs the same tasks that she performs every day: Make-up, hair, shoes, jewelry. She wears a single piece of jewelry, a simple, silver cross that he gave her for Christmas. She looks at herself one last time in the mirror. Her reflection satisfies her, and she turns out the light. She picks up her bag, and walks to the front door. She steps out into the sunlight, squinting against the glare. And so another day begins, just like all the others. She hopes that this one holds something different than the last.




    Submitted on 2006-10-25 15:39:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is so very pretty. it makes me want to cry, and crawl into bed with some sleeping pills and my teddy bear....
    dreams and nightmares are always the hardest part for me...i can block the memories and thoughts when im awake, but asleep they flood in
    seems you have the same problem
    this is utterly real, and true and each feeling, each discription rips though me and i feel it, and i see it in my mind like a movie, or a memory so bright and clear as crystal

    xoxo
    | Posted on 2007-09-14 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this...the descriptions were great. I mean I could feel the floor being cold...how the sweatshirt feels wearing it, all those things. I like this line...She looks around the room, her eyes slowly adjusting to the brightness of the mid-afternoon sun streaming in through the windows.

    WHALDOOGLLR


    Come pick up momma today...cleaning, maybe then after we could go to Hardees?
    | Posted on 2006-10-26 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    122770

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry