Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Honey, This Is Vanitydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: screamALEX
    ASL Info:    19/M/PA
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 40/93/49
    Words: 186
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 857
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1337



    Description:
       Hi.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHoney, This Is Vanitydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Honey, This Is Vanity

    I’m tired of your tainted façade.
    Tired of you playing your
    God.
    I find it funny,
    your half-assed attempt at complexity.
    Like cheap perfume,
    your mock-sophistication suffocates this room.
    Broken black bags to spill your trash,
    your imagination of self-assertion slashed.

    Let me get a taste of
    truth.
    A taste of you.
    Sing your song of vanity.
    Burn me up with the chorus of irony.
    I see your pitiful secret,
    a breach of privacy.
    Like reading a locked diary.

    Too tempting to stop.
    Too immoral to start.
    I find myself here again,
    looking through that glass heart.
    As black tears begin to
    fall,
    the face worth every penny lost.
    A glimpse of her reflection
    against her will.
    A shadow of imperfection.
    A glimpse to kill.

    So when does it end?
    How far do we bend?
    Till we break into pieces,
    breaking the trend.
    And the ground taken for granted
    opens up again.
    Spitting out sinners’ amends
    Taking all our possessions
    Leaving us cold and naked,
    under a sky painted red.
    Breathlessly pondering what’s been left.




    Submitted on 2006-10-25 21:25:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Your words!
    They're so perfect...I'm jealous.
    Like "Twenty-Second Encounter", I think all the words in this piece are perfect because it gives the right mood...words like "tainted", "shadow", and "taken" express a certain coldness you can't express with obvious words you could've used like "hate" or whatever. It's great that you got past "using obvious words", and you used words that give more description and "feeling", if you know what I mean. I can't express myself as well as you did...but yeah...I'm stalking you now!

    Keep on keeping on!
    TRAVWELL!
    | Posted on 2006-11-06 00:00:00 | by travwell | [ Reply to This ]
      Bravo...Anger is a great source of inspiration. I dig this piece and the bravado and confidence that this displays. A New fav for me for sure.
    | Posted on 2006-10-25 00:00:00 | by fryte | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    122819

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry