Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Father Karosenedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ParanoidParadox
    ASL Info:    20/m/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.47 - 85/76/32
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Religious
    Total Views: 199
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 545



    Description:
       Inspired by a fictional character I created


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFather Karosenedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Oh father, who art in heaven
    Hallowed be thy name
    Thy kingdom is infected
    Deliverance shall be done
    On earth as it is in heaven
    Find me these snivelling plebians
    So they may be purified of their sins
    As all flame purifies our sullied flesh
    Lead me not into temptation
    But show me the way to heaven
    Through trials of pain and destruction
    To the kingdom that is thine
    So is my power
    And my glory
    And my soul ever after, forever and ever
    Amen.




    Submitted on 2006-10-25 23:24:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Actually this is kinda bitten. "Oh father, who art in heaven
    Hallowed be thy name" I've heard this before written by another poet so I suggest you might wanna change this. Anyway I see no point in reworking humanity's greatest poem. I don't think you are a better poet than Jesus and most of all you don't even offer a different perspective. Anyway this is thrash.
    | Posted on 2006-10-26 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      Very interesting! Worship fire do ya? An arsonist? I'm christian, but I don't find offense to it. I am curious as to what you were thinking when you wrote this poem. Great, Original Write!
    | Posted on 2006-10-26 00:00:00 | by jlpurvis2001 | [ Reply to This ]
      hey,... i like it, but it's very soft.
    | Posted on 2006-10-26 00:00:00 | by psyko | [ Reply to This ]
      nice take on the old prayer. i must say, i like your version a little bit better. more truthful. keep up the thought-provoking stuff. we all need it.

    i tip my hat and bid thee farewell.
    | Posted on 2006-10-26 00:00:00 | by PoeticNonsense | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.