[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I LET HIM GOdots

    Author: bigrig0625
    ASL Info:    34 M Tx
    Elite Ratio:    2.96 - 40/73/19
    Words: 175
    Class/Type: Story/Serious
    Total Views: 870
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1206

       I recently visited a few places from my childhood and in my mind I could see myself as a child running and playing, riding bicycles, jumping up and down, and just having fun. I also remember leaving this place when things changed in my life. I've always felt, since i've been grown up, as if I was protecting that little boy inside me. I've always watched over him and let him stand behind me. But when I seen him playing and laughing at those places I visited I decided to let him stay and I came home alone. I know he'll be alright because I left him with his parents and friends. Right now he's either playing or snuggled in bed dreaming of tomorrows plans of fishing or riding his bike. I love him and miss him but I now know he's ok and I can move on with my life.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI LET HIM GOdots

    Dry your eyes
    Wipe all your tears
    Your heart has been broken
    For so many years

    You need to move on
    So others will see
    The beautiful person
    That lives inside me

    I've guarded your heart
    And held you so tight
    I'm sorry they hurt you
    It just wasn't right

    We went back in time
    Just you and I
    I held your hand
    And watched you cry

    You're a beautiful child
    With love deep inside
    Your soul will be happy
    With nothing to hide

    I spoke with the places
    That you hold so dear
    They said you could stay
    And I'll be right here

    I send you with love
    Now you run along
    To the place where you're happy
    Where nothing was wrong

    I must go home
    And continue my life
    I've a beautiful daughter
    And a lovely wife

    But if ever you need me
    Just reach out your arms
    My sweet inner child
    I'll protect you from harm


    Submitted on 2006-10-26 01:07:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Oh wow. This one was so catching. Bringing a smile to my face for how sweet it is. :) It was sad that you had to let go, but it was the good. Great write. Rhyming scheme was perfect. No tweeking needed at all. Amazing job. I loved it. Take care.
    | Posted on 2006-10-26 00:00:00 | by dreamer37517 | [ Reply to This ]
      There is an upbeat rythm for such a sad poem. well, we should be happy you are moving on, but it felt sad that you kinda said goodbye to you inner child. lovely write, i felt the emotion you must have been feeling visiting these places. it was really sweet, especially at the end where you say

    But if ever you need me
    Just reach out your arms
    My sweet inner child
    I'll protect you from harm

    i liked this a lot. great job!!
    | Posted on 2006-10-26 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]
      There's excellent rhyming in this one. The form is good and the rythm is fast.
    | Posted on 2006-10-26 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]
      That was a very beautiful poem. I loved it. Especially the ending. Great poem about how we have to let go of those who hurt us and forgive them and ourselves, and move on. Great Write!
    | Posted on 2006-10-26 00:00:00 | by jlpurvis2001 | [ Reply to This ]
      Fantastic poem, so much feeling in it, excellent write, keep writing, Dean
    | Posted on 2006-10-28 00:00:00 | by Survivor_Dean | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]