Sitting
Waiting
Or just not caring
Quietly he stares into her green eyes
Through her eyes he reads her mind
Inside her the silent thief takes thoughts, and transmits them back to him
Reading each curve of her brain like a line in Shakespeare
Eye contact is broken and he slowly begins to despair
Going slow insane until she looks back she gives him the look
Lust, born in the belly reaches out and touches him
He recoils and she whispers brash words in his ear
Slowly his boyish grin grows
This poem is interesting... I don't know, it didn't really click for me, but that might be somewhat due to the grammatical and spelling errors in this piece. In order for a poem to flow freely for the reader, he/she must be able to understand what the author is trying to say. Go through and fix the typos and try and make the sentences flow together more, and I think it will be a great piece! *Melissa*
All of the emotion is in this piece which is the good part of this poem, but structurally it could be put together much better. I myself, believe in an even balance of structure and emotion. Both are very important.
Submission Name: Sitting
