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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Aestra Idots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Paradox
    ASL Info:    33/m/Earthbound
    Elite Ratio:    4.58 - 1055/434/90
    Words: 326
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1581
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3289



    Description:
       Ok. This poem is composed of a few little poems. This is a repost. I posted it whole and it seems people were to bored to read it so I broke it up into two pieces. Here's the first part. I hope you like it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAestra Idots
    -------------------------------------------


    Astral collapse



    I sometimes see silent truth as a form of escape

    From life’s whining arguments of health and terror

    Above all flowering mindscapes growing sweet illusion

    Rises the ancient thorn

    For I am nothing more than gold dust spiraling

    Around a sharp peak

    I hold my memories of being tight

    In my conscience’s fist


    Twisted bird


    Pulling strings of other existence past

    Future sweeps with sharp blue wings

    All non-important parts of daily thinking

    Out of my shattered being

    I bleed hollow thoughts and fading faces


    There must be sobriety before the massive gates


    All lesser dimensions of thought shall be striped apart

    By alien feelings and utter concentration of mind


    Dot burst astrology


    Opening black holes of infinite perception

    My soul shreds apart the very nature of reality


    I am the hollow man dancing under a spiraling heaven

    Stars embedded in my twisting fibres have finally exploded

    Stars embedded in the black flesh of space are falling

    Stars are prisoners no more

    For rough edges crumble under elephant power

    Triangulation is a new perception tunnel

    Bursting dreams can make thoughts

    And heavy golden cells explode

    Opening hungry mouths

    Sucking all directions

    Into a ball of now


    Know this:


    Under fluctuating eyebrows light wraps into a cocoon

    After disintegration of being lies an ocean of threads

    Before that final integration travelling must occur

    Over all constantly changing matter curves a wing


    Meet your peak!







    Submitted on 2006-10-26 16:27:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Sometimes, there you go again Rocket Man, are Elton John or his John? LOL
    | Posted on 2013-08-02 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]
      The exact thing I needed to read.
    The thing I love about this peice is you can extract your own meaning (within boundaries of course)(but then again part of the meanng I understood was there are no boundaries just a random sequence of events tying us together).

    I think that with the swirls of thought the format fit perfectly, maybe a little too organized even.

    ~Carrie
    | Posted on 2008-12-11 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't know why, but from the beginning couple of lines I got Eminescu's "Luceafarul" flashbacks.
    | Posted on 2007-03-13 00:00:00 | by sailorliones | [ Reply to This ]
      The theme is oh so obvious... I can feel the spirit of our "DARK AGE" in every line. I miss some rhyming here... but the metaphors are overwhelming (even for myself...) The words like from a real "aesthete". Am dreptate?
    | Posted on 2006-11-13 00:00:00 | by Non-Sens-Uality | [ Reply to This ]
      At first I'm sort of baffled by the images here, there are so many of them. Secondly, I find a continuity but it wasn't planned, I can see that. On one hand you are mocking the silence of the mind as an escape and then on the other you talk of the distress in modern life.

    Any of these ideas works well as a theme but I don't see how you're going to pull this out. Maybe it is in the works, the second part. And I don't think the formatting does anything to enhance the coherent value of the poem.

    You have some brilliant lines here, but I see them as a collection of brilliant lines without any focused idea to leave in the reader's mind.
    And without knowing your theme I'm not sure how to edit or help. Let me know when the next part comes out because I'd like to see it.

    Thanks for sharing too,

    Nan
    | Posted on 2006-11-07 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      The “problem” with this poem is not length, I think it is the way it is formatted, the double-spacing between lines makes it look much longer than it really is. If you make space between lines smaller it will look much better, much more appealing. In that way you will also allow the reader hoe the poem really looks ( the second part of the poem looks like a big exclamation mark).
    I think that the poem is really interesting, It really pulls the reader in, it is like a journey through a consciousness. Your images are very vivid and creative.
    interesting write, definitely, post the second part soon.
    | Posted on 2006-10-28 00:00:00 | by Poly Jean | [ Reply to This ]
      dude... do you have a disorder?
    | Posted on 2006-10-26 00:00:00 | by psyko | [ Reply to This ]


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