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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Art of Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DeathTone
    ASL Info:    32 / Male / United States
    Elite Ratio:    5.54 - 81/55/30
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1090
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 658



    Description:
       This was thought of out of the blue, it is the first draft, and I will revise it at a later time. I typed it as I thought it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsArt of Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Screaming to relieve the pressure of humanity
    Hold me in your hands and let me melt in your lips
    No where to go but down
    Tasting the fruit of life, oh so sweet
    Drown in the juice that was made with love
    Creating a heat so hot, that the skin begins to sweat
    Painfully happy sounds roam in the night’s air
    Tentative movements and notions are portrayed
    Every touch of the skin is a blissful reminder of truth
    True to emotions and true to feelings
    Serenity has been reached
    Nothing but now exists
    Trapped in this moment forever we will be
    Making love for eternity




    Submitted on 2006-10-27 06:09:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      oooooh wow, that was, uuuuuh wow......i totally freaken love the first line, "screaming to relieve the pressure of humanity" a[censored]men.......true it does need help with flow a tad but other than that, im totally taken aback by the pure density the words bring....utter magic my friend, set your spell and watch the world unfold
    | Posted on 2006-11-06 00:00:00 | by ropedpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      nice.job...its.beautifulthought.it.was.very.sweet.too....plz.comment.on.some.of.my.stuffrecommend.hopes.and.wishes.and.howfeel


    ~Amber~
    | Posted on 2006-10-31 00:00:00 | by Amberger | [ Reply to This ]
      its awsome that you can exspress the way you feel along with your thoughts
    Drow
    | Posted on 2006-10-29 00:00:00 | by drow | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey... That is probably the BEST way to overcome depression. hahaha
    | Posted on 2006-10-28 00:00:00 | by psyko | [ Reply to This ]
      this was very breath taking. i enjoyed it alot. it is one of your best. keep it up.
    | Posted on 2006-10-27 00:00:00 | by DeathsWife | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. This is really good. I have to say that my favorite part is

    "Serenity has been reached
    Nothing but now exists
    Trapped in this moment forever we will be
    Making love for eternity"

    It creates quite an image in my mind..... one that i will not explain at the moment. (he he) :)

    Keep up the great work.

    Unicorn Poet.

    P.S. THis is going in my favorites.
    | Posted on 2006-10-27 00:00:00 | by Unicorn Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      This was an amazing display of passion. There are some more details I would put in, but that would make it a little to uh, graphic for some people. lol
    Making love is definitely one of the most sacred things in this world, and some people just think it's a release and thats all. But, thats not at all, your pouring your heart and soul into it, as you did with this poem. So...congrats on a good write.
    I can't complain on the structure, because I didn't have any problems reading it, and I didn't see any kind of misspellings. So...yea.
    ~Strator
    | Posted on 2006-10-27 00:00:00 | by Strator | [ Reply to This ]
      whao....

    im in utter amazement/shock.../really turned on lol!

    okies now gots to act mature..wow. okeis ....

    "Screaming to relieve the pressure of humanity
    Hold me in your hands and let me melt in your lips
    No where to go but down"

    okies the very last line is my favorite obviously cause i LOVE that! omg this is an amazing poem im like reading and rereading it...and i cant find anything i would like to see changed i mean wow O.O

    "Tasting the fruit of life, oh so sweet.
    Drown in the juice that was made with love,
    creating a heat so hot, that the skin begins to sweat.
    Painfully, happy sounds roam in the night’s air.
    Tentative movements and notions are portrayed"

    sadly to say passion isnt really my thing..i like the act in another way. But i love how you portrayed this its wounderful sensual..put me in an awekward position bc im at school..and i feel like this hehe. okeis gosh im really digressing her.

    ""Tasting the fruit of life, oh so sweet
    Drown in the juice that was made with love"

    THAT is my favorite line. I love how you put imagry in that act and made it so beautiful. The act itself is wounderful but i love how you could capture it in words....im still really amazed right now lol

    "Every touch of the skin is a blissful reminder of truth.
    True to emotions and "and feelings to "Serenity has been reached.
    Nothing but now exists,
    trapped in this moment forever we will be
    Making love for eternity."

    the great and wounderful thing about this is that when you have sex, love making, animal sex, passionate sex, hell threesomes its all about feeling. and you caught that. "Serenity has been reached....." love that....orgasims are nice hehe but to be "mature" as i can and to be my usual wantingtoactaprudesopeoplewouldlistentowhatihavetosaykindofthinggoingonhere you need puncuation. ill go back through it all and add what you need in what i put as a comment okies and then the flow would be much better...

    damn im so adding this to my favorites not many poems can do this to me so im like...yeah...not going there but excellent job love really i think you have found your calling in writting lol.

    all the love
    nikki

    *kisses*

    still in the wow mood lol



    | Posted on 2006-10-27 00:00:00 | by nikita2u | [ Reply to This ]
      If whirl has the meaning wrong, then I am afraid that so do I, this made my heart race and I shivered. I liked this very much.

    Tentative movements and notions are portrayed
    Every touch of the skin is a blissful reminder of truth
    True to emotions and true to feelings
    Serenity has been reached
    Nothing but now exists


    I love this, it is so true to how love and passion are...well, to me anyway.

    Frann. x
    | Posted on 2006-10-27 00:00:00 | by Effee | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, this is kinda erotic...i like the sexy undertones, at least...i hope that is what you are trying to portray here. it's either that, or i have a dirty mind. it sounds romantic too, like here ~

    'Trapped in this moment forever we will be
    Making love for eternity'

    thats beautiful, those are my fav lines. i like this a lot.
    nice job.
    but if i have got the meaning behind this wrong, i apologise.
    whirl**
    | Posted on 2006-10-27 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]
      This is passionately expressed with a beautiful sensual desire in the words, You are quite talented and the words you chose were perfect for this piece.

    My favorite lines are::::::

    Every touch of the skin is a blissful reminder of truth
    True to emotions and true to feelings
    Serenity has been reached

    What a beautful expression of passion really enjoyed this one anothe rto add to my Favs
    | Posted on 2006-10-29 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ]


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