Description: This was thought of out of the blue, it is the first draft, and I will revise it at a later time. I typed it as I thought it.
Art of Love -------------------------------------------
Screaming to relieve the pressure of humanity
Hold me in your hands and let me melt in your lips
No where to go but down
Tasting the fruit of life, oh so sweet
Drown in the juice that was made with love
Creating a heat so hot, that the skin begins to sweat
Painfully happy sounds roam in the night’s air
Tentative movements and notions are portrayed
Every touch of the skin is a blissful reminder of truth
True to emotions and true to feelings
Serenity has been reached
Nothing but now exists
Trapped in this moment forever we will be
Making love for eternity
oooooh wow, that was, uuuuuh wow......i totally freaken love the first line, "screaming to relieve the pressure of humanity" a[censored]men.......true it does need help with flow a tad but other than that, im totally taken aback by the pure density the words bring....utter magic my friend, set your spell and watch the world unfold
This was an amazing display of passion. There are some more details I would put in, but that would make it a little to uh, graphic for some people. lol Making love is definitely one of the most sacred things in this world, and some people just think it's a release and thats all. But, thats not at all, your pouring your heart and soul into it, as you did with this poem. So...congrats on a good write. I can't complain on the structure, because I didn't have any problems reading it, and I didn't see any kind of misspellings. So...yea. ~Strator
im in utter amazement/shock.../really turned on lol!
okies now gots to act mature..wow. okeis ....
"Screaming to relieve the pressure of humanity Hold me in your hands and let me melt in your lips No where to go but down"
okies the very last line is my favorite obviously cause i LOVE that! omg this is an amazing poem im like reading and rereading it...and i cant find anything i would like to see changed i mean wow O.O
"Tasting the fruit of life, oh so sweet. Drown in the juice that was made with love, creating a heat so hot, that the skin begins to sweat. Painfully, happy sounds roam in the night’s air. Tentative movements and notions are portrayed"
sadly to say passion isnt really my thing..i like the act in another way. But i love how you portrayed this its wounderful sensual..put me in an awekward position bc im at school..and i feel like this hehe. okeis gosh im really digressing her.
""Tasting the fruit of life, oh so sweet Drown in the juice that was made with love"
THAT is my favorite line. I love how you put imagry in that act and made it so beautiful. The act itself is wounderful but i love how you could capture it in words....im still really amazed right now lol
"Every touch of the skin is a blissful reminder of truth. True to emotions and "and feelings to "Serenity has been reached. Nothing but now exists, trapped in this moment forever we will be Making love for eternity."
the great and wounderful thing about this is that when you have sex, love making, animal sex, passionate sex, hell threesomes its all about feeling. and you caught that. "Serenity has been reached....." love that....orgasims are nice hehe but to be "mature" as i can and to be my usual wantingtoactaprudesopeoplewouldlistentowhatihavetosaykindofthinggoingonhere you need puncuation. ill go back through it all and add what you need in what i put as a comment okies and then the flow would be much better...
damn im so adding this to my favorites not many poems can do this to me so im like...yeah...not going there but excellent job love really i think you have found your calling in writting lol.