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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dreamlanddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Fun-E
    ASL Info:    19, m, KY
    Elite Ratio:    4.5 - 4/4/2
    Words: 74
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Passion
    Total Views: 722
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 506



    Description:
       I guess this was supposed to be lyrics for a song I'm trying to write, but it could work for a poem to...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDreamlanddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Ever woken up one day,
    and realize?
    You never really woke up at all?

    You rub your eyes,
    trying to snap out of this fantasy,
    But you cant.
    Your trapped in your own mind.

    You cant,
    your stuck in the middle of time.

    Theres no escape from your dreamland,
    'Cus your mind has taken control
    You cant break free.
    Its a dreamland,
    your caught for eternity.

    Its just a dreamland...




    Submitted on 2006-10-27 11:40:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "DREAMLAND" (here to help your!)

    have your ever really
    woke up at all
    and realize you
    never woken up

    trapped in your own mind
    trying to snap out of this fantasy
    but you can't
    you rub eyes

    your stuck in the
    middle of time
    you can't

    there no escape
    cus your mind
    has taken contorl
    your caught for enernity
    you can't break free
    its just a dream


    i hope this helps~so let be nice~
    | Posted on 2006-11-11 00:00:00 | by ms.v | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it ~its ok~it slow~but power in the realness of
    the mean~
    | Posted on 2006-11-05 00:00:00 | by ms.v | [ Reply to This ]
      haha yea it is true sometimes you are so involded in the dream you are in you wake up and you still kind of think that it was real yea and sometimes in these dreams especially mine i get in trouble so I wake up and Im like " holy crap Im in trouble " then its like " wheeew Just a dream" guess that one thing about dreams I love and you captured it well in this song I would like to hear how this would go what kind of genre are you looking to make this?

    much LOVE
    James

    PS welcome 2 ES
    | Posted on 2006-10-30 00:00:00 | by James Reyna | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this poem cuz it's so true. I have one about dreams. Dread Filled Memories. I think you'll like it.
    Katana
    | Posted on 2006-10-28 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]
      And in these moments, I wouldn't even try to break free from these moments. Sometimes our dreamland moments are more pleasurable than the monotonous-ness of our daily lives. It gives us hope and something to look forward to. As for the poem, you seemed to lose connection with your rhythm at the third set of lines when you say "I cant" Seems a little disjointed from a transitions point of view.
    | Posted on 2006-10-28 00:00:00 | by PaintTheSkyBlak | [ Reply to This ]
      I just did that very thing last night. I hate that, especially when I think I'm awake getting the things that I need to get done-done. but then I wake up and I'm like..[censored]....I didn't do anything at all, I was dreaming the whole time.
    | Posted on 2006-11-05 00:00:00 | by Gothic Misery | [ Reply to This ]


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