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verse 1: I've always heard them say that time heals all types of pain and that the ones who hurt you will eventually fade away but you, you're different you're still as bold as ever standing tall, in front of my path no wonder you keep crossing my mind chorus: I can find no solitude for even in my dreams I see you standing there everywhere I turn to look I always find your eyes watching me as I slowly turn and back away sometimes it's just better to let things fade away verse 2: I've always believed that mistakes work out in the end that you can turn things around make it right all over again so why is it still wrong and why am I still crying when you're standing tall in front of me don't you know that you make me weak verse 3: I've always told myself that nothing lasts forever, oh ev'rything just has to end but if it's meant to be it'll be maybe that's why i still pretend that I am okay when you're standing tall in front of me I don't want to lose it again coda: I can find no solitude whenever I need it most but whenever I need love I find nothing maybe it's just best that I let things fade away |
i do like it. as i was reading it, it was comprehending like a poem but i can hear it being sung, and its good. its a rather cliché subject but at least you pulled it off. this is a song i would listen to. =] <bleedingtears> | Posted on 2006-10-29 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ] | The title is extremely generic, and I would suggest a change. | The first verse seems a bit thin, and not too emotional, but, I can see why you did that, because, most of the time, songs don't start off excitingly with their first verse, so I didn't let it bias the way I saw the rest of it. A good piece of advice here would be to maybe write an extra line at the beginning that's really interesting; a hook sort of. It'll grab the reader (or listener's?) attention, and keep them in, if only for a little while. But if it's written well enough, a little while is all you're going to need to get to the exciting parts. The chorus seems to be a bit weaker though, although I probably wouldn't find it this way if it was fitted to the music it was intended for. While it seems heartfelt, it still seems a bit thin, and mundane. Overall, the entire thing seems alright, and could probably be one hell of a song with a little rewriting. Maybe if you tried spicing it up a bit with metaphors, fancier vocabulary, and provacitive questioning. But don't overdo it, because, remember, less is more. Good luck with future endeavors. -Adam ![]() | Posted on 2006-10-28 00:00:00 | by Trifecta | [ Reply to This ] | I liked this write a lot, it was really heartfelt and I know exactly what you mean....part of you just wants it to fade away and figures that if it does, maybe you can be okay for once and not have to fake a simle. but another part of you wonders that, if he's been on your mind for so long, maybe he's supposed to be there and you need to make things right....I don't believe that time heals everything, for me time makes it worse because than I start thinking more and wondering if that person is thinking about me too or if I"m just holding on long after they've let go. so to sum that up, I really related to what you were saying and I thought it was a great write, I'll be sure to read more of your stuff as you keep writing and posting. one small piece of advice though, unless you just do it by habit, its kinda weird to see "verse 1, verse2" etc within a write. | laters, ~jess | Posted on 2006-10-28 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ] | |