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Fade Away

Author: x__beenplayed
Elite Ratio:    8 - 8 /4 /5
Words: 228
Class/Type: Lyrics /BrokenHeart
Total Views: 904
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1522


Have you ever felt something so strong for something, that in the end you felt as if you just had to let things fade away so you could get on with your life? If so, you'll understand this write.

Fade Away

verse 1:
I've always heard them say
that time heals all types of pain
and that the ones who hurt you
will eventually fade away
but you, you're different
you're still as bold as ever
standing tall, in front of my path
no wonder you keep crossing my mind

I can find no solitude
for even in my dreams
I see you standing there
everywhere I turn to look
I always find your eyes
watching me as I
slowly turn and back away
sometimes it's just better
to let things fade away

verse 2:
I've always believed that
mistakes work out in the end
that you can turn things around
make it right all over again
so why is it still wrong
and why am I still crying
when you're standing tall in front of me
don't you know that you make me weak

verse 3:
I've always told myself
that nothing lasts forever, oh
ev'rything just has to end
but if it's meant to be it'll be
maybe that's why i still
pretend that I am okay
when you're standing tall in front of me
I don't want to lose it again

I can find no solitude
whenever I need it most
but whenever I need love
I find nothing
maybe it's just best that I
let things fade away

Submitted on 2006-10-28 12:52:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  i do like it.
as i was reading it, it was comprehending like a poem but i can hear it being sung, and its good.
its a rather cliché subject but at least you pulled it off.
this is a song i would listen to. =]

| Posted on 2006-10-29 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]
  The title is extremely generic, and I would suggest a change.

The first verse seems a bit thin, and not too emotional, but, I can see why you did that, because, most of the time, songs don't start off excitingly with their first verse, so I didn't let it bias the way I saw the rest of it. A good piece of advice here would be to maybe write an extra line at the beginning that's really interesting; a hook sort of. It'll grab the reader (or listener's?) attention, and keep them in, if only for a little while. But if it's written well enough, a little while is all you're going to need to get to the exciting parts.

The chorus seems to be a bit weaker though, although I probably wouldn't find it this way if it was fitted to the music it was intended for. While it seems heartfelt, it still seems a bit thin, and mundane.

Overall, the entire thing seems alright, and could probably be one hell of a song with a little rewriting. Maybe if you tried spicing it up a bit with metaphors, fancier vocabulary, and provacitive questioning. But don't overdo it, because, remember, less is more.

Good luck with future endeavors.

| Posted on 2006-10-28 00:00:00 | by Trifecta | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked this write a lot, it was really heartfelt and I know exactly what you mean....part of you just wants it to fade away and figures that if it does, maybe you can be okay for once and not have to fake a simle. but another part of you wonders that, if he's been on your mind for so long, maybe he's supposed to be there and you need to make things right....I don't believe that time heals everything, for me time makes it worse because than I start thinking more and wondering if that person is thinking about me too or if I"m just holding on long after they've let go. so to sum that up, I really related to what you were saying and I thought it was a great write, I'll be sure to read more of your stuff as you keep writing and posting. one small piece of advice though, unless you just do it by habit, its kinda weird to see "verse 1, verse2" etc within a write.
| Posted on 2006-10-28 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]

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