[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Knifedots

    Author: dreamer37517
    ASL Info:    25/F/Bama
    Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 161/149/49
    Words: 68
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1114
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 399

       Wrote this one a long long time ago.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    The one true thing that lifted my life,
    brought pure delight but changed to a knife.
    All joy and excitment was set in my heart,
    but things got crazy and fell all apart.
    They slowly changed & some words were said
    The kindness turned stone and sank like lead.
    Now the past is gone, the memory is strong.
    The deed is done, but the knife was so long.

    Submitted on 2006-10-28 18:12:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is short, but extremely neat and nifty and very well done with some fine rhyme and meter ... I liked it muchly ...bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... michael fine poem
    | Posted on 2007-02-06 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      Sounds as if you had something insdie of your life you had once was great passion turned to a sour mess and hurt you more than it should. Could it have maybe been a love to another, since love can turn us more deadlier than most things. I mean you did say that the one thing that lifted your life brought pure delight but changed to a knife. Love is the only thing that comes to mind, and the thought of love failing on you can hurt so bad to hurt ones self so much. I could be wrong tell me if I am.
    | Posted on 2006-11-15 00:00:00 | by Crestfallenman | [ Reply to This ]
      I did enjoy this poem, the ryming worked well with this poem i thought. This to me felt like someone who has been betreyed by someone they truley cared about, and felt like they have been truley hurt. It gets the point accross for such a short poem. good job.

    | Posted on 2006-10-30 00:00:00 | by DeathTone | [ Reply to This ]
      The rhyming seems to be a comfort level of writing in this poem. It offers guidelines that allows you to work around, while forcing thoughts to come out with rhyme. Can be a good thing if you are stuck, not being able to write and can be a bad thing if it becomes a habit forcing rhythm into poetry.
    | Posted on 2006-10-29 00:00:00 | by PaintTheSkyBlak | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]