Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

His Black Rain

Author: LadyMustang
ASL Info:    42, female, West Virginia
Elite Ratio:    4.19 - 222 /171 /71
Words: 254
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1427
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 1459


His Black Rain

His Black Rain

She found his heart when he was in pain,
He loves her even though his heart is filled
with a black rain.

She longs to erase his scars left by a love
that done him wrong, He now questions love
will he continue to his whole life long?

Can his heart find a release? Will His heart
find it's peace?

He has an empitness within his heart is on
the run, The emptiness could only be filled
by his son.

He found love but can't believe in it's worth,
He feels so alone here on this earth.

She needs him to see that for him she is there,
Her heart belongs to him forever if to believe
in her love if he truly cares.

She accepts that he's been hurt before, It only
makes her love him more.

Will they find the key to make it last or will it get
broken because he doesn't trust for the hurt
from the past.

She waits for him to open his heart, To finally
believe that love can be true to give his life
a new start.

She waits in silence not saying a word, But
longs for her heart to be heard.

She only wants to take away his pain, Bring
his heart in out of the black rain.

Written By: Wilma S. Hill
copyright© 2006

Submitted on 2006-10-28 18:27:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  thank you so much for posting this, I know we talked about it, I just felt like it definatly deserved a comment and faves add, even beyond completely selfless intent this was a beautiful write and would have been beautiful (in a slightly different way) if I hadn't know the story behind too. In case you wonder i'm fairly sure she'll find the love is mutual ;) . This was beautiful, do you mind if (not necissarly right away because with school work and all it'd almost have to be either a friday or saturday unless I worked on it in school) if I did a write based off this on the opposite spectrum? like him accepting her faults.....I'd give you definate credit and it'd mean a lot <3
love you sis,
| Posted on 2006-10-30 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
  OMG, I'm really not as egotystical as I may lead on here and there, but it almost feels like this was written for me! I can't even express it, it's as if though not necessarily about me fate, destiny, god; w/e beliefs you posses drove you to write this knowing I'd read it. This may seem akward to you, but thank you! It is, beyond what my words can fully express!
| Posted on 2006-10-29 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
  (She longs to erase his scars left by a love
tha tdone him wrong, He now questions love
will he continue to his whole life long)

This paticular section i had trouble understanding, but let me see. I think thtat the person in the poem has found someone they love and is trying to show them love, and that person wont let her in. because he has been hurt so bad in the past, that even though he loves only because of his son, that for a companion he is completly alone. this women wants to let him know that he is not alone. and she wishes that she had the ability / nah / the power to help her love.

hey tell me if im right or wrong please i would love to know if i got what you were trying to protrey.

| Posted on 2006-10-29 00:00:00 | by DeathTone | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?