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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Wishing Stardots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BleedingTears
    ASL Info:    16/f/Neverland
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 418/289/62
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 885
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 557



    Description:
       the inspiration was paramore "oh star"


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWishing Stardots
    -------------------------------------------


    If I had one wish,
    I would pick you Star to make a wish upon.
    Please don't go away.
    No one can wait this long.
    Will you let me make a wish upon you?
    Do you let them come true?
    Please don't go away.
    Let me think of what you'll accept of me.
    I won't forget.
    Let me make a wish upon you.
    I wish for us to sing beyond our voices believe.
    I wish for love to shower our souls in retreat.
    I wish for you to not go away.
    Oh wishing star, I wish upon you.




    Submitted on 2006-10-29 00:52:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I like reading the smiple pieces their short and have a lot of meaning. A good write.

    The Poor Man's Poet.
    | Posted on 2008-04-22 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed this one lot a great flow to this and simply beautful this style of writing suits you very well I agree this one is different than your othe writes totally enjoyed this a great deal love your work as always.
    | Posted on 2007-07-20 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this poem, like everyone else has already said...its not your normal style of writing. i think thats why i really liked it, it was different than most of the other stuff i have read of yours. this piece is very clear and straight forward, and you even kept it simple. keep up the good flow and i will keep reading.


    billy
    | Posted on 2006-10-29 00:00:00 | by kession | [ Reply to This ]
      This was diffarent comming from you. Not your style sort of speak. But its good. I liked it, anyway. It was nice to read a new post, its been a while.
    Keep it up.
    ~David~
    | Posted on 2006-10-29 00:00:00 | by D.C.M. | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this it has its ups and downs tho just like any poem.first ups:I can tell what this poem was ment to stand for and i can feel emotions clear as day.

    but there is a spelling error:I would pick you star to make a wish upon.:i think its should be your star?
    and here r some sugestions to help improve upon ur poem:put it in stanzas<always helps with organization and to fit whats supposed to be said together>
    :rymeing<rymeing usaully gives more beet,and i have to say im a sucker for good rymeing lol>

    but those r only suggestions it is very good and i like it.

    safire
    | Posted on 2006-10-29 00:00:00 | by girly101 | [ Reply to This ]
      Your intentions in this poem are very clear and straightforward. Something I dont like to make quite as familiar in my poetry most of the time. One thing Id suggest is reading through a poem before posting it over to make sure there arent any mistakes because there are a few lines in here that just dont seem to work to be honest. However, you displayed how you felt and allowed this to work as a nice emotional release nonetheless.
    | Posted on 2006-10-29 00:00:00 | by PaintTheSkyBlak | [ Reply to This ]


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