Wishing Star
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Description:
the inspiration was paramore "oh star"
Wishing Star
If I had one wish, I would pick you Star to make a wish upon. Please don't go away. No one can wait this long. Will you let me make a wish upon you? Do you let them come true? Please don't go away. Let me think of what you'll accept of me. I won't forget. Let me make a wish upon you. I wish for us to sing beyond our voices believe. I wish for love to shower our souls in retreat. I wish for you to not go away. Oh wishing star, I wish upon you. |
Submitted on 2006-10-29 00:52:09 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| I like reading the smiple pieces their short and have a lot of meaning. A good write. The Poor Man's Poet. | Posted on 2008-04-22 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ] | I really enjoyed this one lot a great flow to this and simply beautful this style of writing suits you very well I agree this one is different than your othe writes totally enjoyed this a great deal love your work as always. | | Posted on 2007-07-20 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ] | i like this poem, like everyone else has already said...its not your normal style of writing. i think thats why i really liked it, it was different than most of the other stuff i have read of yours. this piece is very clear and straight forward, and you even kept it simple. keep up the good flow and i will keep reading. | billy | Posted on 2006-10-29 00:00:00 | by kession | [ Reply to This ] | This was diffarent comming from you. Not your style sort of speak. But its good. I liked it, anyway. It was nice to read a new post, its been a while. | Keep it up. ~David~ | Posted on 2006-10-29 00:00:00 | by D.C.M. | [ Reply to This ] | I like this it has its ups and downs tho just like any poem.first ups:I can tell what this poem was ment to stand for and i can feel emotions clear as day. | but there is a spelling error:I would pick you star to make a wish upon.:i think its should be your star? and here r some sugestions to help improve upon ur poem:put it in stanzas<always helps with organization and to fit whats supposed to be said together> :rymeing<rymeing usaully gives more beet,and i have to say im a sucker for good rymeing lol> but those r only suggestions it is very good and i like it. safire | Posted on 2006-10-29 00:00:00 | by girly101 | [ Reply to This ] | Your intentions in this poem are very clear and straightforward. Something I dont like to make quite as familiar in my poetry most of the time. One thing Id suggest is reading through a poem before posting it over to make sure there arent any mistakes because there are a few lines in here that just dont seem to work to be honest. However, you displayed how you felt and allowed this to work as a nice emotional release nonetheless. | | Posted on 2006-10-29 00:00:00 | by PaintTheSkyBlak | [ Reply to This ] | |
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