If I Die by DeathTone

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Submission Name: If I Die dots

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Author:	DeathTone
ASL Info:	26 / male / Married
Elite Ratio:	5.56 - 68/47/16
Words:	171

Class/Type:	Poetry/
Total Views:	196
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1150

Description:
i dont really know what is going on in my head as i wrote this, all i know is that this is one of my biggest fears; to be forgotten. even if this doesnt protrey alot of emotion, alot did go into this.

If I Die dots

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If I died today would someone remember me?
Or will I fade into a long forgotten memory
I wonder who would attend my funeral
And if anyone would cry
If tears did fall, would they be tears of joy, or sorrow
Would they laugh at my death?
Or would they cry with every breath
Maybe they would wonder why I died
Who would truly be hurt?
Would they drape the flag on my casket?
And throw flowers on the ground
With 21 bullets shot in the air
To the music of “Taps”
Or would someone just throw me in the ground
And piss on my grave - screaming “that’s what you get”
Who would drink to my demise and party all night long?
I wonder if anyone would listen to my favorite song
Burn my pictures or hold them close to the heart
Will I go to heaven or hell?
But what I really want to know is
Who would remember me, if i die?

DeathTone

Submitted on 2006-10-29 02:10:20 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Sorry but it just sounds like a bunch of narcisistic (spelling?) rambling that you would hear from anybody. The message is quite clear, but is has become cliché and you do not seem to bring anything new into it.
As a way to make a write that had some impact other then just mirroring egos, you could ask yourself the question: What would happen if you found out that you were one day harmeless? In other words, when do we stop having the ability to making that impact which makes people remember us. When do we stop changing lives - for better or worse.
| Posted on 2006-11-24 00:00:00 | by tZar | [ Reply to This ]
  awww this was amazing,as a soldier and just as a person it must suck having to wonder who would remember you, and what you would most be remembered for. I know that feeling.....another reason I think about life...if my life means nothing to anyone will my death? and naturally, vice versa. I'm not really sure which is a more "important question". Basically I liked your overall point VERY much, I"ve written a few similar and i know I Only posted one or two of them if any at all because I really didn't think they were very good.....while I Liked this a lot I think you could have made it flow a little better, but it's still a somewhat scary/sad/touching concept,
"I wonder if anyone would listen to my favorite song
Burn my pictures or hold them close to the heart"
~that was undoutably my favorite part, for one thing music has a HUGE place in my life and another after a while I start seeing a person I cared about who died (like in my own mind) as almost a photograph because the memories of small things they did: the way the walked, smiled, talked, etc. fade away and eventually the "picture" becomes faded and blurry.
I love your writing, I really look forward to reading more of your stuff <3
~jess
| Posted on 2006-11-03 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
  Yet another great one of yours I have read today. :) You do a great way of writing what alot of people wonder and feel inside. You know everyone thinks things like this, expecially the soldiers, who fight so hard for us all. I loved how you put the perfect picture up for this one.
Great write. Take care.
| Posted on 2006-10-30 00:00:00 | by dreamer37517 | [ Reply to This ]
  it's truly a soldiers thought about going to war one thing for sure as soldiers we always stick together
drow
| Posted on 2006-10-29 00:00:00 | by drow | [ Reply to This ]
  i liked it.. it gave me the chills..if that would happen to you every one that loves you and knows you would cry forever..
| Posted on 2006-10-29 00:00:00 | by DeathsWife | [ Reply to This ]

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