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    dots Submission Name: Mourning A Stray Bullet Murder of Child in Comptondots

    Author: honus
    Elite Ratio:    4.78 - 90/96/32
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 680
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 976


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    dotsMourning A Stray Bullet Murder of Child in Comptondots

    She folds back a sheet of dust
    To show the room steady
    with metronome ticking.
    A child’s scrawled name,
    marks each inch that
    has climbed through slow years.
    She speaks, but her voice is in the way
    murdering language one syllable at a time.
    Wheels diseased with spokes
    Flat in the gutter of her throat
    where her words lay half choked
    out into the dust at her lips.
    This new English without consonants
    spoken between clutched breath
    spills vowels out
    onto a suicide beach.
    whales swim through it
    black backed in wet sand
    sheathed in powdered light
    they understand her hump backed
    words, croon and curve the lonely
    arc , low in the salt spray sound.
    Drying to dust in the place
    Where noise ebbs away
    to form the four gray walls
    that shake with each
    Click of the metronome’s arm

    Submitted on 2006-10-29 19:13:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      You have some very intricate detail here. I really liked the way you described how a young child chops of the English language, simply because they are just learning it; I found that very clever.
    The title was really interesting as well, it's what mainly drew me in, but the poem itself is what held my interest all together.
    I might read some of your other stuff as soon as I get the chance, but as of now, I have to be gone of this website (dishes are evil).

    | Posted on 2006-10-30 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]

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