Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Random Freestyles(1)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SinCeer05
    ASL Info:    21mVA
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 243/279/168
    Words: 259
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 1127
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1636



    Description:
       bored...feed??


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRandom Freestyles(1)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    In between decisions, like a rock an a hard place,
    dreams envision a life of Scar-face, as many stars in space
    I count the seconds before I die, hours pass like clouds in the sky,
    I trade wealth for mental health, fuck help I can save myself, Iím proud to get high
    fuck a nobel prize, I rather bleed in a motel an die, coked-out
    no bell or sigh, just follow my lead an look into my eyes, Iím choked-out
    I will never tap-out, like night of the living dead I will rise
    from graves to billboards, I kill pride, and spill lies,
    I stay dismal, throughout the fiscal in a swamp like croaking-frogs
    fuck generic Iím barbaric, my flow stays on top like floating-logs
    I smoke blunts to pass time an bait lines, so Iím smoking-rods
    while poking-broads, they just wait for their Ďturní like holding-knobs

    ______________________________

    Iím deep to rap, in a free R-keys-hollow-spits,
    im below the bones found by archeologists

    Iím explosive as atoms split, impact to make mountains shift, my rhymes-rupture
    Iím at the next level like tall ladders, my force will shatter Wolverines spine-structure

    lines-puncture, like pins-an-needles, Iíll deflate tires, to the point SIN-is-steeple
    Iím the reapers father, Iíll rape ya daughter, my shadows cast with grim-an-evil

    I bastardize all of China, an slaughter a brothel, you know im hostel to plunder punani

    I lust wit malice, to crush ya chalice, my flow drowns more kids then a summer Tsunami





    Submitted on 2006-10-30 02:04:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like the first freestyle. Like the movie 8mile or some [censored] like that. The other one seemed a little forced and it didn't flow as well. But everything in the first one for the most part rhymed and flowed pretty well.
    So good job on the first one and keep working on the second....

    ~Strator
    | Posted on 2006-10-30 00:00:00 | by Strator | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    123166

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry