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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Late Night Thoughtsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: pinurplepassion
    ASL Info:    24/f/somewhere in TX
    Elite Ratio:    5.92 - 165/146/17
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1209
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 759



    Description:
       It's almost 4 a.m. and I am on medication and very tired. So this is how I feel as I smoke the days last cigarette and prepare for slumber.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLate Night Thoughtsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Silence weighs heavily on the mind,
    And pierces the night like a samari sword.
    Surrounded by darkness and stillness,
    Amazed at how deafening the silence can be.

    Smoke rises from a solitary ember,
    To meet the smoke that escapes parched lips.
    And together they dance on the wind,
    Like translucent ballerinas in flight.

    The woodgrain in the walls come alive,
    Like ancestral paintings in forgotten lairs.
    Thousands of faces emerge and stare,
    As if they know some ancient secret.

    The quiet breeze through the window,
    Slowly becomes a familiar melody.
    Like a chorus of fairies singing a lullaby,
    So the world can sleep in peace.




    Submitted on 2004-05-27 03:47:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Very good work, you started out strongly and ended well. Pretty smooth, you brought the reader right into the piece of writing and wrapped them inside the words.
    | Posted on 2005-07-01 00:00:00 | by peoplekityo | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a beautiful piece of work. Just a moment in time brought out so poignantly. Very moving, as if I myself were sitting there experiencing each thought, each sense, each touch. I could vision the dancing ballerinas.. could feel the quiet breeze.
    Very good poem.

    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-03-20 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I find this poem very soothing in the way it flows....just reading it calms the usually angry me...its very good...the imagery is good to...i can see the whole thing in my head as i read it
    | Posted on 2004-05-27 00:00:00 | by morte | [ Reply to This ]
      it's kind of soothing for me. the flow was really good and you've described everything very detailed. I like that when it feels as if I would actually watch it instead of 'just' reading it. great poem.
    | Posted on 2004-05-27 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is sexy beyond sexy. it's the kind of sexy that's so sexy it's nonchalant in it's sexiness. and it makes me want to go light another smoke and watch how it dances.

    'The quiet breeze through the window,
    Slowly becomes a familiar melody.
    Like a chorus of fairies singing a lullaby,
    So the world can sleep in peace.'

    these are my favorite lines... they remind me so much of happier times, summer nights when i left the attic window open and fell asleep in attic memories. ooo, wait, i feel inspiration.

    you inspire me.
    | Posted on 2004-05-27 00:00:00 | by freeradical | [ Reply to This ]
      Very cool way you attack the senses in this piece.

    Smoke rises from a solitary ember,
    To meet the smoke that escapes parched lips.

    In that I not only got the visual, but I smelled the cigarettes too.

    The quiet breeze through the window,

    And I felt the chill night air and smelled the freshness in contrast to the cigarette smoke.

    Pretty smooth, thanks.

    | Posted on 2004-05-27 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      This was nice... I think the last stanza was the best. YOu ended on a great note and the whole thing just semmed to work. I love the way you write.
    | Posted on 2004-05-31 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]


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