Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Always Get The Leftoversdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DBC
    ASL Info:    21/m/ar
    Elite Ratio:    2.77 - 55/59/29
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 904
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 700



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Always Get The Leftoversdots
    -------------------------------------------


    a girl a drug
    i need a hug
    my skin there's bugs
    a girl a drug

    it's love its hate
    its two dead snakes
    i've got the shakes
    it's love its hate

    It's god it's vision
    with such precision
    you make incision
    It's god it's vision

    so i guess what i am trying to say is
    you used her up and threw her away
    like your rope and your syringe
    you used her up like heroin

    so stop you asshole and think it over
    before you fucked her she was sober
    before you ripped her soul in half
    before i picked up whats leftover




    Submitted on 2006-10-30 03:48:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, this is like my poem Piles of Sand. The subject matter is almost identical, just from different perspectives.

    Sorry I haven't replied sooner, some issues to deal with that I won't bother you with:)

    Anywho, this was a great write. I could here it as lyrics to a rock type song in my head. It works:)

    Lia
    | Posted on 2006-12-06 00:00:00 | by Glassy Eyed | [ Reply to This ]
      i find it hard to believe that no one has commented on this yet! i really like how simplistic it is, particularly the first verse with the dog, girl and hug idea, it's simple yet it means so much in real life, just to hug a living thing. in a way it's the random juxtaposition that makes it fit together so well, and the inclusion of god gives it another dimension too. well done, you deserve more positive feedback on this! love charlie x x x
    | Posted on 2006-10-31 00:00:00 | by Charlie Poppins | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    123171

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry