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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Shiverdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BonafiedRarity
    ASL Info:    18/m/Australia
    Elite Ratio:    2.33 - 11/18/17
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Misc/Love
    Total Views: 855
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 726



    Description:
       Sometimes we all feel a little bit cold...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShiverdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sitting here, wondering if i fucked it up that bad.
    Cold and shivering, for a reason unknown.

    Cold and shivering i sit, wondering if i'll ever
    Hear the three words that will pull me from this shit.

    Cold and shivering, i know millions before me have felt the same.
    Millions before me wondering when they'll find the one.

    One small gesture, such as a hand-hold,
    Can ruin a friendship, and make it unfold.

    What i thought could have been, i know never will.
    But sitting here wishing, it's stupid, but still.

    "i dont want to harm myself, but does that mean i should
    give up on love?" -Me.




    Submitted on 2006-10-30 17:22:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Well, it's a good idea. I like how you acknowledged the fact that other people have felt the same way. It makes it feel a lot more genuine. But capatalizing the i's and adding in better grammar ( I know that seems hard) will help the reader out more. I'm sorry about the circumstances that led to this poem.

    Cheers,
    ~Persephone~
    | Posted on 2006-10-31 00:00:00 | by Persephone | [ Reply to This ]


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    123233

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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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