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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Fooldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: WD-40
    ASL Info:    21/F/Bangleby
    Elite Ratio:    0.95 - 206/72/10
    Words: 71
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1352
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 455



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Fooldots
    -------------------------------------------


    A fool
    I wear my heart
    upon my sleeve

    with hope I dream
    an endless dream
    in a dream

    some of us are thinkers
    and some of us are doers
    some of us deny
    while others question why

    loners and cleashed out
    rebels without a cause
    when many a causes are to behold
    The pen is much mighteir then the sword?...








    Submitted on 2006-10-30 19:25:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Come, don't wear your heart upon your sleeve, save that tender poetic beauty from the evil eyes of the world.

    Nice work.
    | Posted on 2007-09-24 00:00:00 | by Parul garg | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm very interesting, but i did like it though. nice word choices.
    | Posted on 2007-06-02 00:00:00 | by BarleyBreathing | [ Reply to This ]
      what can i say??? i really like it... you should read my latest poems now that i read all of yours.
    | Posted on 2007-05-30 00:00:00 | by isuperhero | [ Reply to This ]
      Lobe you stuff, im gonna stalk you i think ;)

    Kube.
    | Posted on 2007-03-20 00:00:00 | by Kube | [ Reply to This ]
      gud one yo
    | Posted on 2007-03-11 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]
      Heart upon your sleeve? *chuckles* yeah...tell me about it. but you know...with a heart on a sleeve, it's only out there for people to see, I don't mind showing people my heart...i don't think you should either...doesn't make you foolish

    I really dug that second stanza, and endless dream, seems like it doesn't it? always does for me anyway.

    Good job with this. It's short, which I like, but what it conveys is what we're all after anyway.

    Cheers!

    Brent
    | Posted on 2007-02-13 00:00:00 | by austin | [ Reply to This ]
      uhh yeah...my guitar is mightier than anything that was ever constructed. John Denver tried to kill the metal...didn't work, 50 stupid cent is trying to kill the metal, my guitar will conquer all
    | Posted on 2007-02-13 00:00:00 | by austin | [ Reply to This ]
      nice.
    | Posted on 2007-02-12 00:00:00 | by itsjustme22 | [ Reply to This ]
      Dude . . . . . . .
    this is amazing . . . . . . your poem are always so touching . . . . . . . . . . . they always make me think, and it always leave me wanting more . . . . . good job. . . . this part was my favorite :

    A fool
    I wear my heart
    upon my sleeve

    with hope I dream
    an endless dream
    in a dream


    I don't know . . . . that's how I am right now . . . . . . . well I gotta comment on ya other stuff. peace man.

    >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>>

    G FREAK
    | Posted on 2006-12-19 00:00:00 | by GothamFreak | [ Reply to This ]
      Keep it up, make it great, get me out of this dream loop!

    "some of us deny
    while others question why"

    And some stare at empty sky
    to understand, they try.

    Without ink, a pen is just a little sword.
    d
    | Posted on 2006-12-06 00:00:00 | by D McDaniel | [ Reply to This ]
      Alyin, you have a developing talent, and this poem shows it! Think of something you really like and write a poem about it! I think we can see some really nice material from you, and this write was intriguing and enjoyable!
    | Posted on 2006-12-03 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      i like them poem and how it has oposites. in it.

    keep up the good right.

    draconus
    | Posted on 2006-12-02 00:00:00 | by draconus | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved the way this one flowed! It made me think of a simpler time. Well once again this is a great write!!!
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2006-12-01 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      "aalllrighty than, bumble bee tuna, bumble bee tuna, bumble bee tuna" god that's a great movie. Similar to this in a way. it goes in one direction, but has meaning in another. INteresting how many ways this can be taken, good day to you now!
    | Posted on 2006-11-09 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      I connected with this piece, simple but deeply fed, yet oh so true. It hit home, nice one!!!
    | Posted on 2006-11-06 00:00:00 | by Silenced poet | [ Reply to This ]
      ???????what does doers mean????????
    | Posted on 2006-11-05 00:00:00 | by gloomyanddoomy | [ Reply to This ]
      Not always no. I don't think it's crap though it could do with some improvements. You start out great, but the last verse goes off.
    Katana
    | Posted on 2006-10-31 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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