Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Your Dirty Little Secretdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: precious_poetry
    ASL Info:    19 F TN
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 137/145/67
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 680
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1004



    Description:
       I've never been cheated on, but this is something that just came to me, inspired by a dream. I'm not sure its all that good, but I like it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYour Dirty Little Secretdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You've enthralled me now,
    With your irresistable charm,
    I have fallen head over heels,
    And see no need to be alarmed.

    We've seen so many lovely nights,
    Wasted away days in pure rapture,
    Made love in your bed of sin,
    My heart you've so easily captured...

    Swept away by your unending lies,
    Your well of deception overflows,
    My heart of glass, cracked before,
    Now shattered by lies exposed.

    You lay me down at night,
    And return to her every day.
    To the one you had before,
    I've been fooled and betrayed.

    It was my own mistake to be so blind,
    It really was too good to be true,
    My mascara tears flow endlessly,
    Never have I felt so blue...

    But be forewarned, my love,
    I won't remain your dirty little secret,
    Pay back is a beautiful bitch,
    The worst in me, you've not seen yet.




    Submitted on 2006-10-31 06:38:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Man, this is a great poem! I love the ending. So powerful.

    "Pay back is a beautiful [censored],
    The worst in me, you've not seen yet."

    That made me smile! I know almost exactly how you feel. You have captured the emotions very well in this poem. Hope to read more from you...:)


    Ciao,

    }i{Renae}i{
    | Posted on 2006-11-08 00:00:00 | by Poetic_tragedy6 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, i really liked it. Fits my mood perfectly.
    I really liked the last line. totally didn't see it coming. I also loved:
    "my mascara tears flow endlessly"
    i thought it was beautiful.
    great job!!
    -Amberinaa*
    | Posted on 2006-11-01 00:00:00 | by -amberina | [ Reply to This ]
      I know this isn't fiction for you, I hope you forget him and move on. Just kill him with kindness. I think you'd be a better person for it.
    I like the poem, but it kinda reads like a soap opra. which is good if you take out line 19.

    The Poor Man's Poet.
    | Posted on 2006-10-31 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]
      this was ok i didnt like the line...Never have I felt so blue...i think you could express how you feel better than that
    | Posted on 2006-10-31 00:00:00 | by bestdeceptions | [ Reply to This ]
      It's...WOW! I seem to find the poems at the right time that fit my mood. I love the last verse because payback is a beautiful [censored] and noone wants to get in the way of it.
    Katana
    | Posted on 2006-10-31 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    123307

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Wavelength written by saartha
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Incubus written by monad
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Giving written by jjd
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Push written by JanePlane
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Bond written by saartha
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    To written by SavedDragon
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Linger written by saartha
    This written by Chelebel
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry