Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Your Dirty Little Secretdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: precious_poetry
    ASL Info:    19 F TN
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 137/145/67
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 655
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1004



    Description:
       I've never been cheated on, but this is something that just came to me, inspired by a dream. I'm not sure its all that good, but I like it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYour Dirty Little Secretdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You've enthralled me now,
    With your irresistable charm,
    I have fallen head over heels,
    And see no need to be alarmed.

    We've seen so many lovely nights,
    Wasted away days in pure rapture,
    Made love in your bed of sin,
    My heart you've so easily captured...

    Swept away by your unending lies,
    Your well of deception overflows,
    My heart of glass, cracked before,
    Now shattered by lies exposed.

    You lay me down at night,
    And return to her every day.
    To the one you had before,
    I've been fooled and betrayed.

    It was my own mistake to be so blind,
    It really was too good to be true,
    My mascara tears flow endlessly,
    Never have I felt so blue...

    But be forewarned, my love,
    I won't remain your dirty little secret,
    Pay back is a beautiful bitch,
    The worst in me, you've not seen yet.




    Submitted on 2006-10-31 06:38:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Man, this is a great poem! I love the ending. So powerful.

    "Pay back is a beautiful [censored],
    The worst in me, you've not seen yet."

    That made me smile! I know almost exactly how you feel. You have captured the emotions very well in this poem. Hope to read more from you...:)


    Ciao,

    }i{Renae}i{
    | Posted on 2006-11-08 00:00:00 | by Poetic_tragedy6 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, i really liked it. Fits my mood perfectly.
    I really liked the last line. totally didn't see it coming. I also loved:
    "my mascara tears flow endlessly"
    i thought it was beautiful.
    great job!!
    -Amberinaa*
    | Posted on 2006-11-01 00:00:00 | by -amberina | [ Reply to This ]
      I know this isn't fiction for you, I hope you forget him and move on. Just kill him with kindness. I think you'd be a better person for it.
    I like the poem, but it kinda reads like a soap opra. which is good if you take out line 19.

    The Poor Man's Poet.
    | Posted on 2006-10-31 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]
      this was ok i didnt like the line...Never have I felt so blue...i think you could express how you feel better than that
    | Posted on 2006-10-31 00:00:00 | by bestdeceptions | [ Reply to This ]
      It's...WOW! I seem to find the poems at the right time that fit my mood. I love the last verse because payback is a beautiful [censored] and noone wants to get in the way of it.
    Katana
    | Posted on 2006-10-31 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    123307

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Shi written by ShyOne
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Records I written by Raphael
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Love written by saartha
    Cover written by saartha
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry