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    dots Submission Name: Someone Elsedots

    Author: throughmyvoice
    ASL Info:    19/f/US of A
    Elite Ratio:    3.63 - 69/113/51
    Words: 336
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 832
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2039

       needs major editing

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSomeone Elsedots

    I guess I thought you were someone else
    So these memories, packed like raw meat on freezing shelves
    Came crashing down around me
    And I let them

    It never even occurred to me you would never understand
    So when I gave you all, youíd still demand
    Silently, speaking made unnecessary
    By being my friend you birthed an adversary
    Only I stayed blindfolded till the last drop was wrung
    Then I could open my eyes to see my feet, writhing, dripping
    And realize itís my own fault Iíve been hung

    This cast rope looping my neck
    Marked with each notch, remembering each time
    I let you deceive me
    Let me believe in me
    Once again
    And this time satisfaction Iíll guarantee will not be found
    Through my stupidity

    This ache of losing what was never had
    This shame of mourning the mistakes that wonít last
    This reeling of emotions that break concrete thoughts in my head
    This feeling of shorning a mask I didnít feel fastening to my face
    Realizing that you were always one step ahead
    In the sense you were winning
    Because I was in last place

    So I mistook you for someone else
    A fresh breath of air in the midst of the world weíve made a dump of
    And I let you guide me
    I let time slide by me
    Too lazy to move, guilty enough to wave as the moments passed
    Now as I feel my ship sinking, I realize Iím tied to the mast
    Acres of unbreakable knots, tied with my own blood
    The sacrifice of truth, the end of life
    In the name of a blinded cause for love

    And that someone better I thought you were
    Iíll say a prayer for
    And hope one day Iíll stumble upon their lit and open door
    But by then I wonít be so hopeful
    Or blink with naÔve eyes
    And trust plastic smiles that reflect comfort
    A peace found in my denial and your lies

    Submitted on 2006-11-01 13:03:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      this is very.....raw. the emotions behind it are so strong to the point that it's almost throwing the piece off course.....almost. I don't think this is a poem, well it is but it isn't, it looks to me like a balled up piece of pain that you've been trying to come to terms with. All in all regardless of the spelling errors and the gramatical errors it is very powerful. It's amazing how lonely the situation you described here feels and yet if you ask around everyone can relate. This is the point where I am supposed to offer condolences for your suffering but I won't because although it hurt you learned something from it and so it made you stronger.

    | Posted on 2006-11-01 00:00:00 | by Lightbringer | [ Reply to This ]

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