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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: First Breathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ki
    ASL Info:    24/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.05 - 29/22/6
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 749
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 906



    Description:
       Artificial life


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFirst Breathdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The foreign solution runs,
    courses into the lungs
    Pumping
    Cooling
    Pulsing veins growing with each moment
    Wires seductively creeping up the vertebrae
    ever so slightly
    Electric intoxication
    Illumination and beautiful hue
    Pupils alive with haze
    A husk of a former burden
    The complete and absolute perfection
    A genesis
    Sinless and flawless
    Synapse waves of information
    The initiation of creation
    Cables detach,fluid flowing
    Skin so flawless its offensive on the human eye
    Take the first breath
    Convulsive breathing
    Inhalation inhalation exhale
    Pupils growing,light stinging
    into the beautiful form
    Signals of life
    Acidic tastes and smells
    The life giver fixated
    for he has given essence
    the soulless man made mortal




    Submitted on 2006-11-01 13:59:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Nice job, but you missed an apostrophe. I know, that's minor. Besides that, it's very interesting. The way that you describe the senses of a newly-formed creation is very interesting.
    --crimson echo
    | Posted on 2006-11-03 00:00:00 | by crimson echo | [ Reply to This ]
      impressive. no complaints from the peanut gallery.

    i tip my hat and bid thee farewell.
    | Posted on 2006-11-01 00:00:00 | by PoeticNonsense | [ Reply to This ]


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    123435

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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