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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Slap My Wrist And Tell Me NOdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: stateXofXmind
    ASL Info:    18/F
    Elite Ratio:    2.09 - 29/49/21
    Words: 59
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 128
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 331



    Description:
       dont ask


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSlap My Wrist And Tell Me NOdots
    -------------------------------------------


    slap my wrist and tell me NO
    ...is exactly what they did
    I played some jokes and that was bad
    so slap my wrist and shoot me dead
    but instead
    they slapped my wrist and told me NO
    I played a joke and that was bad
    they slapped my wrist and shot me dead







    Submitted on 2006-11-01 21:09:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Very cool-
    It's like Joan Jett meets Irish Limerick...

    You have two misspellings... 'slaped' should be 'slapped'- you have that word twice, also- so make sure to correct them both...

    and 'insted' should be 'instead'.

    other than that, you're all good!

    Ooh, perhaps put the line 'is exactly what they did' in parentheses... ()... That would be tre's nifty.

    Nice work!
    ~Syn
    | Posted on 2006-11-03 00:00:00 | by Syn | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, I HAD to favorite this one... I love it. It's like an old-school punk song...
    (right up my alley)
    It's perfect- I can say no more...
    | Posted on 2006-11-02 00:00:00 | by Ceyx | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
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    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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