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Roleplay | Viral news today | Music Theory

Unloved - By Zach Miles


Author: Khargath
ASL Info:    18 / Male / JC, Tenn.
Elite Ratio:    2.61 - 22 /33 /16
Words: 46
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1049
Average Vote:    4.5000
Bytes: 275



Description:

A short and touchy poem I wrote once after a relationship.


Unloved - By Zach Miles


His love was a flower,
Her love was a coal.
His love was everlasting,
Her love was growing old.
He thought her love was true,
Though his love she did not want.
When he showed her how he loved her,
She went and broke his heart.




Submitted on 2006-11-02 11:38:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I like it. Usually in the poems about heart breaking the broken heart belongs to the girl. Its always interesting to hear both sides, you know? Its got good flow and I like that. Although, the first part does flow better than the last. Its awesome.
| Posted on 2008-02-26 00:00:00 | by SweetAndOhSoME | [ Reply to This ]
  Its short but very good. I would say good imagery (because anytime I read something I see it in my head~even though I dont know what either of you look like I saw you..)
umm..yeah..Im weird..but good job :)
| Posted on 2006-11-21 00:00:00 | by DesecratedDream | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the first four lines as a kind of song rhythm, but felt that the rest of it didn't quite go with it as well.

overall, I liked it
| Posted on 2006-11-20 00:00:00 | by Ygi | [ Reply to This ]
  Short and sweet, if I may use that cliché. Well done with the rhyme.
Keep writing!
Azuire
| Posted on 2006-11-19 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]
  I understood this poem very well. It sounds quite well like reality and breakups are to often in this world.. Well, this poem is just awesome, although, it could use abit more but I'd say it's great.
| Posted on 2006-11-12 00:00:00 | by SoulFantasiz | [ Reply to This ]


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