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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: *Masqueradedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Caotic_Disaster
    ASL Info:    16/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 447/349/148
    Words: 59
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 950
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 447



    Description:
       this is just something i found scribbled in the back off my science binder...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots*Masqueradedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Masks, concealing their faces
    Not glum, but exuberant expressions
    Dancing around without a care in the world
    Getting told their fortunes by the woman in costume
    Couples sneaking into the shadowed rooms
    Doing untold business discreetly
    Singles mingling and buying drinks
    Flirting and engaging in deep conversations
    Under the disco lights and aerial dancers
    Anything can happen




    Submitted on 2006-11-02 14:30:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this piece alot, they flow was there, liked the word choise, eve though I dont think it would hurt if you put stanzas into it,. I liked the Imagery in this.

    "Doing untold business discreetly
    Singles mingling and buying drinks"

    I especially liked these lines,. great job,. I liked how it personafy the common single on the nightfloor perfectly in just two lines, nice job.

    "Under the disco lights and aerial dancers
    Anything can happen"

    Liked these ending lines aswell, U closed it up with some kind of mystique into it, I love that.

    great read cheers..




    | Posted on 2006-11-22 00:00:00 | by -=Bass=- | [ Reply to This ]
      Now this is good Caotic
    I find this write very good
    This write has a mysterious feel to it like you are hiding something in your words that definately forces the reader to Think
    I Loved how this write drew me back to the 70s and left me dancing in a disco hall with noone but myself enjoying the night
    Very Strong Write
    Considering you werent even alive in the 70s
    That just shows how truly talented you are
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-11-06 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      At first glance I was not sure what I was going to think of this because I noticed that you're only 15. Well I'm actually glad I took the time to read this. You describe setting and scenes very well and it helps the reader to get the visual they need to stay interested in the piece. You are also pretty articulate and especially for your age this is impressive. So final verdict....I dig it. Keep writing and wait till your in your 30's I bet you will be a force to be reckoned with if ya keep it up.
    Take care
    | Posted on 2006-11-02 00:00:00 | by fryte | [ Reply to This ]


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