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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Black Rose,Dark Souldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: fireflye
    ASL Info:    15/f/cananda/toronto
    Elite Ratio:    2.16 - 11/28/20
    Words: 142
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 798
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 796



    Description:
       stupid ppl ignore the helpless and i was one of the helpless!!!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlack Rose,Dark Souldots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am the black rose with the dark soul
    my darkness i do not try to conseal
    depression has taken the light from my
    thoughts.

    If you only knew how my life relly is
    you would understand why I hold this
    knife in my hand dont try to stop me
    my mind is made up i dont feel like living
    i just GIVE UP!!!


    i wanna bleed my pain out can u help?
    or are u gonna sit back and watch
    while i kill my self!!
    you make excuses for your pain you hide in it!
    and your shame!! you cannot see the signs, i try
    to tell you but you turn away

    Fine dont listen, dont listen
    turn your back one me we'll both go to
    hell burning in engulfing flames!





    Submitted on 2006-11-02 21:06:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "Black rose with dark soul,
    Unconcealed darkness
    Thoughtís light ripped
    by depression

    If you only knew how life really is
    You would understand why
    Knifes are in hands,
    Minds are made up,
    And life is giving up on


    Bleed the pain out, can u help?
    A soul being killed, how can you watch?
    You make excuses for your pain you hide in it!
    And your shame!! You cannot see the signs,
    You just turn away Ö

    Fine donít listen, donít listen
    Ignore the helpless and vulnerable
    And I was one of the helpless!!!"

    For me your poem would be better if it was like this...but if you love yours you just keep it the way it is , it's good.

    ďYou make excuses for your pain you hide in it!
    And your shame!! You cannot see the signs,Ē

    I didnít quite understand what you meant by these lines so I just kept them the same. As for your childhood if you wanna talk Iím interested in knowing what happened.
    Take care

    ~~Drakoniss~~
    | Posted on 2006-12-15 00:00:00 | by drakoniss | [ Reply to This ]
      You want thoughts so Iím not gonna suggest changing anything about it .
    Usually cutters get help which they refuse to take, in your case (or at least in your poem),itís different , itís a cry for help and a hand to save yours , Iím not gonna do the same old speech about cutting is not the answer ,Iím just telling you that this poem is based on depending on others to pull you out , if youíre gonna wait for someone to pull you out you'll just end up going down more and more Ö no one can replace your ability to pull yourself .
    ďstupid ppl ignore the helpless and i was one of the helpless!!! Ē ..youíre not helpless, youíre the one ignoring your power.

    ~~Drakoniss~~
    | Posted on 2006-12-14 00:00:00 | by drakoniss | [ Reply to This ]


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