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Submission Name:
me
--------------------------------------------------------
Author:
CFHillyard
ASL Info:
22/M/Washington state
Elite Ratio:
1.91 - 53/36/13
Words:
82
Class/Type:
Poetry/Me
Total Views:
656
Average Vote:
No vote yet.
Bytes:
478
Description:
just a new one iv written
me
-------------------------------------------
I am a demon in disguise
always looking up at blood red skies
nothing comforts me or holds me dear
my life is wrenched by my mortal fear
many secrets i hide within
begging the lord to forgive my sins
i try my best to hide the truth
constantly running from the sleuth
so here i am just like you
a lonely mortal nothing new
take my hand if you dare
ill try my best to show i care
Submitted on 2006-11-03 15:43:13
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||| Comments |||
this is good. sounds kinda dark and menacing to begin with. the rhythm and rhyme are excellent.
this is a great piece!
michelle
| Posted on 2006-11-08 00:00:00 | by
whirl
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Again, I applaud you're skills as a writer. I like the end as well. The last two lines make it have more meaning.
Katana
| Posted on 2006-11-03 00:00:00 | by
Katana Ryoko
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Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [
Guidelines
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1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?
123687
Jimmy Ruska
Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.
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