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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: faliuredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: girly101
    Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 292/310/149
    Words: 71
    Class/Type: Misc/Depressed
    Total Views: 723
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 458



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfaliuredots
    -------------------------------------------


    over flowing pain
    its driveing me insane

    no longer r there fears
    only way to many tears

    chills kreeping up my spine
    a black rose falls from a vine

    a shiver braces my soul
    long since forgot my goal

    in my heart the blood freezes
    tho the thoughts never ceases

    i look and into the mirror and see
    my true and final destiny

    faliure




    Submitted on 2006-11-04 15:37:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      very good. first of all, i believe we are all failures. i can relate to this because i remember having such a feeling at a time. it scared the hell out of me but also a rush. a rush to keep going. to prove myself wrong. result: i think i still failed.
    -aaron
    | Posted on 2010-09-18 00:00:00 | by Thief | [ Reply to This ]
      i don't like how in the second couplet (is that the right word?) you use r instead of are just doesn't look right, i love the poem as a whole though, i love the last word just makes the poem....how do i word this, i would say pop but that just sounds stupid but it makes it awesome.
    Vynom
    | Posted on 2006-11-04 00:00:00 | by PryncessVynom | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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