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    dots Submission Name: Killing Timedots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 45
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 860
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 297


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    dotsKilling Timedots

    People talk of killing time.
    I wish we could
    or at least paralyze it
    for I'm getting old,
    but I feel so young,
    and I think you're tired
    of this face,
    for I know I am,
    and that causes
    these impossible dreams.

    Submitted on 2004-05-27 18:52:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wouldn't it be interesting if we could paralyze time. what would we do with it? it does seem that life goes by awfully fast sometimes; seems quicker the older you get, too. i was thinking about my parents the other day, they are in their 70's. what must it feel like to know that you've lived way longer than you have left. kinda scary, i would think. i look in the mirror sometimes and see new wrinkles and think, damn, i look old! anyway, this was an interesting muse on time and the fear of getting old. for one, though, i am not tired of your face!
    | Posted on 2004-05-28 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      gorgeous as always....*sniff* I'm getting old too but the secret to staying young is a daily dose of cartoons! really!
    | Posted on 2004-05-27 00:00:00 | by pyrestarter | [ Reply to This ]
      "You only as old as you feel inside." That's what my Mom always says and it's really true! So if you feel young then you are young. Good job. This poem is short, sweet, and well-written. I just love your work!
    | Posted on 2004-05-27 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      I am right behind ya (27). This is an honest piece. One great metaphor, and your personality, which flows through this piece. I only have one suggestion.
    -And that causes these
    Impossible dreams.
    Have you read How Soon Hath Time by John Milton.
    It is one of my favorites, but it's by one of those old stuffy British poets that most these days don't seem to like. Anyway, it wrestles with the same subject.
    Thought-provoking. Emotion stirring. Nice Work!
    | Posted on 2004-05-27 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      Hm...I like your other works better. This one is perhaps a little too...descriptive or precise, or realistic, or maybe more hesitating than the usual but there's something in it that doesn't quite fit.
    | Posted on 2004-05-27 00:00:00 | by the apocrypha | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this. Once again your short simple poems work because they are the opposite of mine (long and strange) Only thing I can think of is that it could use some punctuation to help the flow but that's it. Good job! (by the way, I don't mind growing old, it's just another thing I haven't experienced yet so it's interesting! maybe that's just because I'm young)
    | Posted on 2004-05-27 00:00:00 | by ACircuitShock | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh I definitely can identify with this one. If only I was a young as I feel. I used to think thirty five was ancient, Now it's staring me in the face. Do we have to act our age?
    | Posted on 2004-05-27 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      I can't identify with it, being only 16 myself, but its well done, (Though yes, does seem to lack something) and Cuddle? We never tire of your face. Oh..wait...thats legs...hmm...O.o oh well! ~Sicobe R. Crow
    | Posted on 2004-05-31 00:00:00 | by Crow | [ Reply to This ]
      very cool thoughts... i went through a phase of hating time so much i wanted to kill it and i wrote it all sorts of evil hate letters and everything though it had nothing to do with getting old. however this is an awesome write, very honest and full of fears but life is what we make it and so just do it... grab hold of every moment and live out your dreams as best you can! and thats about all i have to say... great write!
    | Posted on 2004-05-29 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm a bit disappointed - it lacks something, some kind of flow, and the whole thought, you are absolutely right but the way you presented it didn't move me too much. Sorry, it just hasn't got the power of previous pieces I read. With all my love, Greg.
    | Posted on 2004-05-31 00:00:00 | by Nightraven | [ Reply to This ]

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