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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Shadow me notdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Twisted
    Elite Ratio:    7.47 - 159/57/75
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 708
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 860



    Description:
       Wrote this in thrid grade, and I'm sure you can tell...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShadow me notdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Do not color me in the shadows.
    The shadows.
    And Darkness.
    Becomes destruction.
    But not to me.
    I am not afraid.
    Darkness…
    Shadows…
    At night.
    Hide from the light.
    Shadow Me Not.
    There are shadows in everyone’s past.
    Darkness…
    Stand closer to the light and your shadow becomes longer.
    But do not be afraid and remember.
    Remember…
    Shadows Me Not.
    Do not color me with the shadows.
    Alone…
    Revenge…
    Frightened…
    Good-bye…
    Nothing’s forever…
    Can I see you again…?
    Bend down your head…
    So it’s come to this…
    Good-bye…
    Are good-bye’s forever…?
    Shadow Me Not…
    Never ending night…
    Good-bye…
    Shadow Me Not.
    Do not color me with the shadows.




    Submitted on 2006-11-05 19:19:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love the metaphor"shadows me not". It is very intense piece there are so many emotions that it's hard to believe you wrote this in the third grade. There does not seem to be much ryhme or rythym to this poem, not much flow. Over all a "wow" piece!

    Please read forienger
    | Posted on 2006-12-11 00:00:00 | by aNNmARIE | [ Reply to This ]
      I too am having trouble believing that this was written in the third grade. however it was very well written, the repition worked well, and was not over done, in my oppion. Cover me with shadows, is an excellent metephor you used. Nice work, sorry it took so long to get another comment in, i will send more as i can. I enjoy your writting very much so.

    --Death--
    | Posted on 2006-12-09 00:00:00 | by DeathTone | [ Reply to This ]
      there is no posible way this was writne in third grade. and if it was you must ave been a prodogie of some sort. I absolutely love it. I'm not quite sure why but it reminds of the way all not things that are seen as evil are truely evil.
    And in my opinon, only one goodbye is forever, and thats the one you say to this world as you leve for the next.
    once again love it lots.
    The Black Fairy
    | Posted on 2006-11-10 00:00:00 | by TheBlackFairy | [ Reply to This ]
      This was written in third grade? I don't believe it.
    Repitition is effectively used. to portray the "nothing is forever". But I think there's quite a few of these themes around here, I just forgot where they were.
    Cheers, keep writing.
    Azuire
    | Posted on 2006-11-10 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved how you efficiently used repetition in the poem, it helped with what you wanted to convey. If I had to make a suggestion, I would say that perhaps the grammatical structure of the poem could be changed to be more effective and fluent. Since you named the poem "Shadow me not", the reader has a feeling that the poetry will be centred around the line. Which it has, in terms of meaning, though not very clearly in terms of structure. Thus, if you used more "awkward" grammar in the poem, the poem will be a perfect work of art, well, a great piece, not that it's not already.

    Anyhow, I really like your piece. Keeping working and hoping to see more of your poetry.

    - Fougene
    | Posted on 2006-11-05 00:00:00 | by Fougene | [ Reply to This ]


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