[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Rainfall in Carthagedots

    Author: WolfStar
    ASL Info:    26/F/California
    Elite Ratio:    6.85 - 119/130/46
    Words: 187
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 786
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1138

       Okay, I've been out of the loop for a long time. My writing has been all trash lately and this is only semi-rotten fruit amongst the moldy pile of refuse on my desk.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRainfall in Carthagedots

    Perhaps there is nothing unusual
    about bistre and blush
    or henna and umber ---
    colors known but too seldom spoken;
    there is no light like the light of the open eye.

    To be the ruins of Carthage,
    but for a small mote of color
    that seeps and seeks
    without will or reason,
    for only a breath before it sinks
    into the dusty bricks and wasted fields.

    To have lived to have seen the carnage ---
    the blood and the ash and the unforgiving salt;
    this is where color can be born,
    distinct before a withered universe.

    That is how I know bistre from the fallow river,
    how I can tell blush from a stale, dying sun.
    Your color hides where only hope can know to look,
    where only a soft thought can frame new wood and thatch,
    a clean river, or an endless field of wheat.

    To know this place is not without its pain,
    but it is more tangible than my lost tundra,
    more alive than my sensible music,
    more infinite in a second
    than my drifting sand can ever be.

    Submitted on 2006-11-05 20:14:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This seems like a play upon some crisis time in one's life that's sprinled more with pain than joy. There's a longing to recapture but the river of life is fallow now. Thus hope finds that it must traverse on to hope's finding of clear strems and rich fields of endeavor.
    | Posted on 2006-11-05 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      This is unique and beautiful to read out, the imagery lush, the sonics right (to me anyway). I especially liked your opening strophe, and when something intrigues me to read on, I do.

    To be an ancient ruin implies a feeling of wanting to be alone and forgotten, yet the colour seeping from this/you implies otherwise--a paradox, one familiar as a push/pull dynamic everyone should relate to.

    This has a very classic feel to it, reminiscent of T.S. Eliot, whom I perused just yesterday afternoon and fell promptly in love with.

    I think this shall be a fave.


    | Posted on 2006-11-05 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]