[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Lonely Dancerdots

    Author: uonlyknew
    Elite Ratio:    4.13 - 14/14/18
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 816
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 773

       This is a story somewhat about what happened to me. Watching the person you love dance with someone else, but it can also be interpreted differently.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLonely Dancerdots

    Lonely dancer,
    Spinning round,
    Spinning fast,
    but losing ground.

    Little girl,
    sitting lost,
    crying tears,
    all lines crossed.

    Dying note,
    sweet and low,
    wearing out
    the ending show.

    Peering eyes,
    looking hard,
    searching skin,
    for parts unscarred.

    Piercing voice,
    singing clear,
    building walls
    to hide the fear.

    closing doors,
    slamming shut,
    forever open
    deepening ruts.

    Open arms,
    another girl,
    your arms,
    her you twirl

    Lonely dancer,
    spinning round,
    Lovely dancer,
    losing ground.

    Submitted on 2006-11-06 18:44:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like this one. I don't know that I like it as much as "Katie", but, nonetheless, I love the image that "Losing ground" gives,

    building walls
    to hide the fear.

    So true, I think we all do that to an extent. Well, I know that I do anyway.

    This is a truly lovely piece. Another one for my faves.
    Frann. x
    | Posted on 2006-11-07 00:00:00 | by Effee | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Bond written by saartha
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Push written by JanePlane
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]