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    dots Submission Name: Bring The Blue Skies Backdots

    Author: Mud
    ASL Info:    18/f/India
    Elite Ratio:    2.73 - 55/98/57
    Words: 174
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 999
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1119


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBring The Blue Skies Backdots

    Slip off my skin
    And bathe me in dew
    Wrap me in cobwebs
    Cleanse my sinews

    Soak me in sunlight
    Till i vaporize
    I'll rain down on you
    From blue ribboned skies

    Pour me so gently
    Into blanching frost
    I freeze over slowly
    And all pain is lost

    Whisper sweet nothings
    And then i will melt
    And feel all those feelings
    That i've never felt

    Lay me down slowly
    On a fine beach of sand
    We'll ride waves together
    Come, take my hand

    Put me on a rainbow
    My soul i have sold
    For i slide back to you
    You're my pot of gold

    String me at night
    With the stars and the moon
    And then serenade me
    With your lilting tune

    And when the sky blushes
    At the break of dawn
    My heart will be broken
    And you will be gone

    A will never find you
    The world will turn black
    I'll ask everyone to
    Bring my blue skies back

    Submitted on 2006-11-07 12:41:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      awww I really really loved this one!

    agreeing with algol46...
    | Posted on 2007-03-13 00:00:00 | by Ani | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, this IS really quite wonderful ... remindes me of Robert Louis Stevenson ... perfect rhyme and meter ... superb ... I loved it, absolutely loved it (in the final stanza you have "A will..." when I think you mean "I will..." bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... Michael
    | Posted on 2007-01-12 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      WOWWW. i love this so much. adding to my faves. great job

    | Posted on 2006-12-10 00:00:00 | by DontLetGo421 | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is pretty good.You do a good job with the rhyming and I like some of your descriptions.The first three lines of the first verse are excellent but I don't think the fourth line matches the quality of the previous three.
    Verse five is also very nice-simple but effective.I would capitalise the i's though and in the last verse,rhyming <dawn> with <gone> doesn't seem to work too well but then again I'm British so it probably sounds different in American English.
    Well done on a nice write.
    | Posted on 2006-11-08 00:00:00 | by Asakura Cowboy | [ Reply to This ]

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