[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: lost hopesdots

    Author: crazymunchkin
    ASL Info:    17/f
    Elite Ratio:    3.3 - 52/45/19
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1312
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 529

       life goes on, you have to choose whether to go on too or not

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotslost hopesdots

    nothing to see
    nothing to hear
    endless abiss
    yet nothing to fear
    nothing to touch
    no one to hold
    empty suroundings
    lifeless and cold
    so open your eyes
    arouse your lost hopes
    awaken your limbs
    and rise with new hopes
    for pathetic you are
    for staying so lost
    cowaring inside yourself
    content with life at no cost
    move on and be seen
    be heard as anew
    for people like you
    there are too few

    Submitted on 2006-11-07 13:54:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Very good. Why is shadow speaking with a British accent, anyhow? We both know she's from PA...
    Aside from spelling errors that would be caught by a standard word processor, this piece is well-done.

    --crimson echo
    | Posted on 2006-12-12 00:00:00 | by crimson echo | [ Reply to This ]
      cheeky, but lovey if iwere you i'd only change one tinsy lil thing

    arouse your lost hopes
    awaken your limbs
    and rise with new hopes
    for pathetic you are

    i'd change the last 'hopes' to something else 'dreams maybe.

    othere then that i think it's a fesh idea and i love it
    | Posted on 2006-11-07 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]