[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: clichédots

    Author: Localfreak
    ASL Info:    37, Maybe, Here
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 131/123/76
    Words: 144
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 1428
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 869

       I just started thinking of all the dull repeats of long dead poems wile sitting on a coach and decided to write the definitive cliché.

    Maybe it will make people think about using some new ideas before resigning to rehash old, and still not very good, ones

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Soft as silk and red as rose
    In my heart, within my soul
    Blood seeps through between the clots
    And my poem is almost done

    The wishing well fulfils a dream
    While nightmares wake with sweat and screams
    Prince charming knows who’s the one for me
    And fabled love is won

    I love you and you love him
    Cold as ice around a fiery rim
    Withered flowers do smell of sin
    As a heart gets torn in two

    So should I laugh or should I cry
    Within this mess of a live pork sty
    Whilst hearing the song of dawns songbirds
    And I write these clichéd words

    So rock the baby, ring the chimes
    It’s time to rest babies’ tired eyes
    I shan’t write the end, you know the words
    They’re written through well over a thousand verse

    Submitted on 2006-11-07 16:46:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You never seize to amaze me, mister.

    This was wonderful.

    I love the cliché' yet unconventional theme. It's very unique.

    -Just me. <3
    | Posted on 2006-12-28 00:00:00 | by BestxDeceptions | [ Reply to This ]
      great! i love it! i love that you rhyme the first 2 lines of each stanza and then the last 2 dnt rhyme, but they are written fantasically. i love your theme of cliché. very unique and original!

    | Posted on 2006-11-07 00:00:00 | by just an angel | [ Reply to This ]
      Very great poem. I like it very much. The only thing I would comment on is the irregular rhyme, which seems semi-forced and semi-unnatural, so it's like fence-sitter rhyme.

    Well, anyway, I like it very much.

    Hoping to see more quality work.

    - Fougene
    | Posted on 2006-11-07 00:00:00 | by Fougene | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Rough written by saartha
    No More Damn Love Poems written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Dreamt written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Fizzy Love written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Luchinushka written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Two written by homeless
    Summer of Peaches written by rev.jpfadeproof
    TSC written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Shading written by saartha
    Chèvrefeuille written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Forgotten Umbrella written by garnet4david
    I Believed written by homeless
    Yearn written by saartha
    Roots written by Chelebel
    Starry night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Untitled: June 24, 2018 written by homeless
    BlackBerry Bushes written by Daniel Barlow
    Outside the Chain written by Wolfwatching
    Eyes written by homeless
    Blinded by Sight written by Torie
    Buried written by MyPeriodical
    Orange written by saartha
    Jar (working title) written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Chapter written by Crestfallenman
    After a Dream written by KeeperOfLight
    One Time Is Good written by Daniel Barlow
    Untitled - September 19, 2017 written by homeless
    More written by homeless
    Forget written by Crestfallenman
    The Phoenetians and Us written by Torie




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]