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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: clichédots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Localfreak
    ASL Info:    37, Maybe, Here
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 131/123/76
    Words: 144
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 1197
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 869



    Description:
       I just started thinking of all the dull repeats of long dead poems wile sitting on a coach and decided to write the definitive cliché.

    Maybe it will make people think about using some new ideas before resigning to rehash old, and still not very good, ones


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsclichédots
    -------------------------------------------


    Soft as silk and red as rose
    In my heart, within my soul
    Blood seeps through between the clots
    And my poem is almost done

    The wishing well fulfils a dream
    While nightmares wake with sweat and screams
    Prince charming knows who’s the one for me
    And fabled love is won

    I love you and you love him
    Cold as ice around a fiery rim
    Withered flowers do smell of sin
    As a heart gets torn in two

    So should I laugh or should I cry
    Within this mess of a live pork sty
    Whilst hearing the song of dawns songbirds
    And I write these clichéd words

    So rock the baby, ring the chimes
    It’s time to rest babies’ tired eyes
    I shan’t write the end, you know the words
    They’re written through well over a thousand verse




    Submitted on 2006-11-07 16:46:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      You never seize to amaze me, mister.

    This was wonderful.

    I love the cliché' yet unconventional theme. It's very unique.


    -Just me. <3
    | Posted on 2006-12-28 00:00:00 | by BestxDeceptions | [ Reply to This ]
      great! i love it! i love that you rhyme the first 2 lines of each stanza and then the last 2 dnt rhyme, but they are written fantasically. i love your theme of cliché. very unique and original!

    -angel-
    | Posted on 2006-11-07 00:00:00 | by just an angel | [ Reply to This ]
      Very great poem. I like it very much. The only thing I would comment on is the irregular rhyme, which seems semi-forced and semi-unnatural, so it's like fence-sitter rhyme.

    Well, anyway, I like it very much.

    Hoping to see more quality work.

    - Fougene
    | Posted on 2006-11-07 00:00:00 | by Fougene | [ Reply to This ]


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