Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: someday.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rAbit
    ASL Info:    18/m/Tx
    Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 84/91/38
    Words: 163
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 835
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1004



    Description:
       ...some stuff i wrote....
    when, thinking about someone....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssomeday.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Take my cold hand, press your gentle lips close
    Glimpse into dark hazed eyes, and send your kiss close.
    A content of conversation, whisper between each others ears
    A lust of lullaby’s is a story of true requiem.
    Laying close, cold air hangs in thin lines.
    Yet warmth binds between
    A trickle of thoughts pour, your eyes are telling.
    Lips locked in, but still staring, can’t help holding closer.
    My mind is grafting serrated wire carving skin,
    Each tune ties my heart closer, yet distance lays between us.
    I try harder, remember owes difficulty to see such a white face.
    Voice spoken, tears even deeper of each dosage of lies, she abstractly loved me,
    She was there for every minute, mended the “broken toy heart”
    Kissing closer and closer
    An attempt to hold your hand…
    As I know failure always allures me, and each note deceives me.
    Remember I love you, even if I can’t remember you.




    Submitted on 2006-11-07 19:21:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      she must have been very lucky to have you
    | Posted on 2007-03-20 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    124207

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry