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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: paintingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: koolness
    ASL Info:    17/female/city of evil
    Elite Ratio:    2.58 - 80/106/56
    Words: 70
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 730
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 400



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotspaintingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I paint my world how I want it to be,
    without sorrow or pain nor mortality.

    I paint my world in many colors deep,
    for witch color comes next i can not see.

    I paint my world with kindness and care,
    cause it dosen't exist in the real world up there.

    I paint my world how I want it to be,
    without sorrow or pain or mortality.




    Submitted on 2006-11-08 13:08:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like the idea, but I think you might want to work at your spelling a bit more. I know, once you start typing you're more about getting the words down than worrying what they look like--but other people have trouble understanding misspellings.

    For instance: did you mean immortality or immorality? Witch (a magician) or which (a choice between alternatives)?

    Hope that helps...

    --crimson echo
    | Posted on 2007-02-28 00:00:00 | by crimson echo | [ Reply to This ]
      thank you very much!!!
    | Posted on 2007-01-16 00:00:00 | by koolness | [ Reply to This ]
      I'll tell you one thing: your pretty good at poetry! I really liked this ... fine meter and some excellent rhyme, and the repeated line at the end is so very excellent indeed ... (you have several typos which you can easily fix on a reread) bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... Michael
    | Posted on 2007-01-12 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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