I liked this, --I thought it could easily be lyrics to a song,--it has a crisp and assertive rhtym and rolls off the tongue naturally. I thought you did a great job here, --I liked the sassy "doormat" verse as well as the play-doh one. But the last-- where you say basically----"call me when you know who you are, I might be interested--" was the clincher for me. If people would just be honest,--be themselves,--put ego behind them and trust their instincts,-then finding compatible mates would be so much easier;
Here I liked the brisk, no-nonsense approach, the rhyme and the thought behind the song. Shania might like this one too ,--lol Sally
And so i go back to my statement Women don't want nice guys. You have to be an [censored] once in a while or your just pretending. So Mr clever is no better than mr wrong? Same song and dance but the rhyme here entrances the repetition enhances your statement and still individuality is necessary. So part of this is exactly true. Give him a little space wheter or not he wants it to go out with the guys. so many people have ideas about changing thier partners, but it's not realistic, my girlfriend leaves plates and bowls everywhere and while it annoys the hell out of me i've just excepted it and began picking them up. I don't like this line
"Not a boy made of play-doh" The use of play=doh to rhyme with go is fine, but i think it could shine brighter if you rewrite it. I just think the rythm feels a bit apart from the rest of the piece. peace
This is a really good piece because the theme is one that is always dismissed. The world goes on and on about men being more compassionate and loving their women yet no one brings up the fact that many men lack personality because they are too compassionate, and too loving.
A girl wants to be loved, but she also wants the wonderful contradiction of two people living like one. When two people blend, they go through arguments, disagreements, fights, and that just makes being together all the more spicy. Life is about these arguments and fights and the resolve of them at the end.