Stuck by Kersofmia

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Submission Name: Stuck dots

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Author:	Kersofmia
ASL Info:	19/m/Mia
Elite Ratio:	5.51 - 111/84/44
Words:	78

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	168
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	427

Description:
I wrote this on the side of the road when my car broke down in traffic. I know it's simple and short but any advice and comments will be appreciated.

Stuck

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Do times get Darkest before you see the light?
If so then why have I been stuck
In the shadow of the moon
With only a shimmer to guide the way?

It breathes a scary sense of hope
That my day will come
But no more than a spark has shone.
And it shatters my dreams of peace and balance
For a story of neverending twists, turns, deadends, and Wrongways.

Submitted on 2006-11-09 08:18:20 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
I know that this is posted under misc, so this isnt necessarily a poem of sorts, however I think a different type of format would be better. To be honest, I think the only sorts of writes that fit the style you have now are stories...longer stories.

just a suggestion:

Do times get Darkest before you see the light?
If so then why have I been stuck
in the shadow of the moon
with only a shimmer to guide the way?

It breathes a scary sense of hope
that my day will come
but no more than a spark has shone.
And it shatters my dreams of peace and balance
for a story of neverending twists, turns, deadends, and wrongways.

now onto the write itself...other than the fact that you have a little typo in there ( yes i know i'm being a nitpickin' basterd lol ) I do like this. Maybe it's because I feel this way more than I don't. Personally I do believe that it gets darker before you can begin to see again. It's like the saying you have to hit rock bottom before you can pull yourself back up...I'm sure that's not the answer you were looking for lol...everyone wants to hear that things will get better...and kermie, they will...maybe just not as soon as you want them too.

I like how your sense of hope is scary for you...sometimes people are in a bad place for so long that when something good starts to happen they're afraid to take it..for a few reasons. some think it's just another stepping stone for you to slip from and hit the bottom again, so they don't bother trying...some are so use to feeling pain that they've become dependant on it..afterall, that's the one thing that's been constant in their life for them..

anyway, sorry for the babble...bottom line is that things do get better..just not as quick as we'd like sometimes, nor the way we planned them too in the first place. Keep your head up kermie, I still love ya
| Posted on 2006-11-09 00:00:00 | by MmR | [ Reply to This ]

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