Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Along the path


Author: elseibi
ASL Info:    20/f/uk
Elite Ratio:    3.13 - 228 /180 /38
Words: 50
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 978
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 316



Description:


Just a random poem (using some alterations provided my ron, cheers mate) x


Along the path



The future pulls me forward,
the past holds me not back;
I'm walking arm in arm with both,
along this beaten track.

Where it leads im still not sure,
i'm at the point of no return.
I've never seen this path before,
never been so far from home.




Submitted on 2006-11-09 13:47:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I liked it, this got potential. It flowed nice,. very intriguing and realistick, a great read.

"Where it leads im still not sure,
i'm at the point of no return.
I've never seen this path before,
never been so far from home. "

really shows confusion in all its purity, hehe,. well, think this is very well written

personally I think u should change the word choise and make it longer, this really got potential,, and I love the idea.

Keep it up..


| Posted on 2006-11-23 00:00:00 | by -=Bass=- | [ Reply to This ]
  Neat and nifty...short but extremely well done..I really, really like it, muchly...bravo...Micahel
| Posted on 2006-11-22 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
  i like this poem. you kinda started off rhyming and then lost it, but maybe you were trying to contrast. i dunno, im not judging. its ok to not know where you're going. i sure as hell dont have a clue.

i tip my hat and bid thee farewell.
| Posted on 2006-11-21 00:00:00 | by PoeticNonsense | [ Reply to This ]
  Louise, this is an intriguing start of a marvelous poem! Here are some suggestions that may (or may not) help!


The future pulls me forward,
the past holds me not back;
I'm walking arm in arm with both,
along this beaten track.

It's destiny's uncertain,
but I cannot turn around
I've never seen this path before,
or have been so far aground.

| Posted on 2006-11-16 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



124386