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    dots Submission Name: My Beingdots

    Author: Caotic_Disaster
    ASL Info:    16/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 447/349/148
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 811
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 786

       a little something i threw together..rough draft...any suggestions would be gratelly appreciated.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Beingdots

    My mind
    Is but a light bulb
    Blinking bright
    Full of ideas
    To improve the words
    And save the planet
    Along with many other

    My brain
    Is but an engine
    Working twice as fast
    To keep up
    With the overwhelming
    Force that floods it
    With critical problems and

    My heart
    Is but an alarm clock
    Warning me
    Of love from
    Passer-bys or family
    Or dogs or cats or horses
    Which long for my

    My body
    Is but an accessory
    Of every man
    Who I love
    There wandering hands
    Surround me
    As they look forward at

    Submitted on 2006-11-09 15:32:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      id have to agree with LIl gal for the title i think that sums up everything in the poem, without giving to much away, i like how you bring everything together in this peice , and word it so it all goes together nicely, great job.....Joy
    | Posted on 2006-11-09 00:00:00 | by sweet_rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      How about My Being as a title. For the different aspects u encompass...mind,brain,heart n body. Just a suggestion and i like the part about the heart (wasn't tryin 2 rhyme) it's very good. :)
    | Posted on 2006-11-09 00:00:00 | by Lil gal | [ Reply to This ]

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