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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A drug called lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TheBlackFairy
    ASL Info:    18/female/Caldwell
    Elite Ratio:    2.94 - 32/29/15
    Words: 200
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1038
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1097



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA drug called lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    A wish and a dream can mean the same thing,
    just as life can be an eternal nightmare.
    Waiting day by day for the sun to shine only to find the rain.
    We wish for something to come take away this pain,
    We wish for a drug so sweet and so safe that nothing will ever be able to take its place,
    A heroin like theirs never been,
    something that keeps us from going insane.
    Something so pure the smile is always on our face when we have it,
    and always on our mind when we don't,
    A drug that makes us want to live this life day by day just so we can embrace this suns ray.
    This heroin is hard to find,
    it's better then the powder that poisons your mind,
    It slips threw the lips of the one who's always on your mind,
    It gives off a warmth that's one of a kind,
    It's in an embrace and it's in a smile,
    It's in the way you know good bye is only for a little while.
    It's the best type of heroin there's ever been,
    this drug is called love,




    Submitted on 2006-11-09 17:21:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like this one. Its so true how love can be such a wonderful thing and like a drug at the same time.
    | Posted on 2007-01-04 00:00:00 | by justwantedtosay | [ Reply to This ]
      THIS IS REALLY NICE AND TRUE BUT THERES ALOT OF RUN-ON SENTENCES LIKE FOR EXAMPLE THIS ONE:

    "We wish for a drug so sweet and so safe that nothing will ever be able to take its place,"

    AND "Something so pure the smile is always on our face when we have it,"

    ESPECIALLY THIS ONE "A drug that makes us want to live this life day by day just so we can embrace this suns ray."

    ALSO YOU USED "MIND" TWO TIMES, IT KINDA KILLS IT..I WOULD SAY MAYBE SOMETHIN LIKE:

    "It slips threw the lips of the one who always intrudes your wits, or hinders instead of intrude
    OR YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO PUT "ALWAYS"

    THE WORDS ARE VERY GOOD AND DEEP DONT GET ME WRONG, I LIKE IT

    BUT THE LAST PART KINDA SOUNDS CORNY....THATS ABOUT IT

    YOU COULD TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT. -KEEP IT UP
    | Posted on 2006-11-13 00:00:00 | by Ani | [ Reply to This ]
      Very, very true...I find this so sad...humulating...that you've been a user for 9 days, and I've been on here for what...61 days, and I've gotten no where near as many comments as you...maybe that's because I talk to Vampiric Death too much...

    But anyway, I thought that this poem was true in its sence, and very important that you brought up and issue was able to follow through on it...so

    If you ever need comments, hit me up and I'll comment!
    | Posted on 2006-11-10 00:00:00 | by Twisted | [ Reply to This ]
      yay i can comment i really enjoyed reading this poem that sounds as though it plays on the fact of how much you care for someone and wish you could be with them always but yet are not able to... i feel with you and hope that one day you will be able to keep your drug around for as long as you like...

    psycho love

    ps. i luv you
    | Posted on 2006-11-09 00:00:00 | by psycho love | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an awesome write I will add it to my favorites. I am definately one of those dark side of love kind of people so I guess this just hits me right. I am quite often lost waiting for someone to find me as well. Maybe you will like some of my stuff. I look forward to reading more of yours.
    | Posted on 2006-11-09 00:00:00 | by Thornful Rose | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the darkness mixed in with the sort of "positiveness" of love.. it works well
    | Posted on 2006-11-09 00:00:00 | by k. rade | [ Reply to This ]
      yes love is a drug
    ive loved once in my life
    and at first it suck because he didnt love he back
    but now i have a 3 month old baby with him but we arent marred
    so loves tough at first but then it gets easyer
    but alot of guys are dirt but i might have found one that isnt
    hope you do to!!!!!11
    | Posted on 2006-11-09 00:00:00 | by gloomyanddoomy | [ Reply to This ]
      I really have no constructive critism for this.

    "We wish for a drug so sweet and so safe"
    Love is the best drug.

    I really love the message in this poem. Great job. =]
    | Posted on 2006-11-09 00:00:00 | by numbertwenty | [ Reply to This ]


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