Like The Wind -------------------------------------------
I can't believe
You truly left
Like the wind
You blew through
And as quickly
As you came
You were gone
I will never
Be the same
I hope you
Know how much
My way of thinking
This is a good write but I cant help but think this write could become perfect if you used the same emotion you used in these short 50 words and expanded this write You did very well on speaking of the Love you hold inside but maybe explain why he left and why it has affected you so strong One of the hardest forms of Poetry to write is a true poem filled wiyh your own true emotions You are already half way there dont be afraid to include more personal relations in your work I can see you have a Good heart Use it and will carry your writing far more stronger then you van imagine God Bless Ron
Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think Thank You Ron
That's depressing, Katana. I think I know how that one feels, oddly enough, though probably not in the way you intend. I like the way that it seems like the outside force/other person just breezes through without regard for consequence--very clear.
The short line length helps with that, I think. Nice write.
I liked the concept of wind as the agent of change in the relationship. Every relationship takes a heavy toll on you, demands irreversible changes and leaves permenant scars. Portrayed very well in the poem.