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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: apparently opaquedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mixedemotions00
    ASL Info:    24/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    6.26 - 574/377/69
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1264
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 777



    Description:
       Wow- so I haven't written since March, literally, until this. I feel like it was slightly barfed-up. Don't be too harsh, but please be slightly honest.

    Edited 06 July 2007


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsapparently opaquedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I stare through panes of glass,
    squinting, blinking,
    hoping for a sign.
    Hoping for something to give me hope.

    There are moments when I
    canít,
    wonít...
    There are moments when I need nothing more.
    What I would give
    for you to create those moments.

    I may not be complete,
    but I am not broken.
    Itís not that Iím missing pieces-
    theyíve just been misplaced.
    They'll turn up, I'm sure...
    sooner
    or later.

    Pretend that when you look in the mirror,
    when youíre staring and dreaming and wondering-

    Pretend that the missing piece,
    the little hole in center-

    Pretend it isnít there.




    Submitted on 2006-11-10 00:07:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is what a person writes about when a person has nothing to write about. all in all, you incapuslated the feeling well. Maybe you will find an image or two more, when you break the frigging glass.
    that little hole in the center is no longer of a whole, but a vortex filled with imagery sweet imagery.

    PAZ
    | Posted on 2007-07-06 00:00:00 | by screams | [ Reply to This ]
      I can't really offer to much on this, it sounds to much of a confessional, and there's nothing highly original abou it...it's been done to death, I'm sure the sentiments are there, and that it's honest, but poetry...I don't know.

    R.Milkbone
    | Posted on 2006-11-10 00:00:00 | by R.Milkbone | [ Reply to This ]
      Overall, I liked it. However, you might want to think of using less hope. Also, are you waiting for someone to create moments when you can't think about life without them? It's a little unclear. I do like how you end each stanza in an abrupt sounding foot stomp. Nice poem.
    | Posted on 2006-11-10 00:00:00 | by tagit | [ Reply to This ]


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