On the beach by Nagow

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Submission Name: On the beach dots

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Author:	Nagow
ASL Info:	20/f/Denmark
Elite Ratio:	2.56 - 56/70/29
Words:	110

Class/Type:	Poetry/Being a Teen
Total Views:	985
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	666

Description:
I just felt like writting this one...

On the beach dots

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The last sunrays of the day
hit the naked water
She stood on the beach, without say
cause her life had gotten harder

The nature calmed her down
made her forget it all
she sighed to the waves' sound
and let herself fall

She hit the semi warm sand
and stared up at the sky
and there in her hand
she had the key to fly

what she had was power
given to her by the sunset
like a cleansing shower
it had made her forget

Now she could move on
go on with her life
she was more calm
and knew how to strife

Submitted on 2004-05-28 15:00:48 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
i personally didn't think this was powerful. yes, it contains imagery, but the rhyme ruins it. Very forced. I dunno. Not much else to say.
| Posted on 2004-05-28 00:00:00 | by roxygirl239 | [ Reply to This ]
Good deal. I think this was great. The rhyme scheme was good, it was indeed engaging, ignore these people they have small heads! However I don't think strife can be a verb - perhaps you mean strive?
shard
| Posted on 2004-05-28 00:00:00 | by particularshard | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.