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    dots Submission Name: On the beachdots

    Author: Nagow
    ASL Info:    20/f/Denmark
    Elite Ratio:    2.56 - 56/70/29
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Being a Teen
    Total Views: 994
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 666

       I just felt like writting this one...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOn the beachdots

    The last sunrays of the day
    hit the naked water
    She stood on the beach, without say
    cause her life had gotten harder

    The nature calmed her down
    made her forget it all
    she sighed to the waves' sound
    and let herself fall

    She hit the semi warm sand
    and stared up at the sky
    and there in her hand
    she had the key to fly

    what she had was power
    given to her by the sunset
    like a cleansing shower
    it had made her forget

    Now she could move on
    go on with her life
    she was more calm
    and knew how to strife

    Submitted on 2004-05-28 15:00:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i personally didn't think this was powerful. yes, it contains imagery, but the rhyme ruins it. Very forced. I dunno. Not much else to say.
    | Posted on 2004-05-28 00:00:00 | by roxygirl239 | [ Reply to This ]
      Good deal. I think this was great. The rhyme scheme was good, it was indeed engaging, ignore these people they have small heads! However I don't think strife can be a verb - perhaps you mean strive?
    | Posted on 2004-05-28 00:00:00 | by particularshard | [ Reply to This ]

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