[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: On the Yellow Blues of Firedots

    Author: ChrystalR
    ASL Info:    23/Female/Norway
    Elite Ratio:    5.14 - 126/121/58
    Words: 181
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 781
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1153

       About the stubborn heart of an unhealable dreamer..

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOn the Yellow Blues of Firedots

    Once you wickedly called me blue
    believing that you could see
    Once you said firmly "It is true,
    that dreams can never be"

    While escaping this reality
    following the dream
    I am seeing beyond mortality
    running through a stream

    You might call me a silly dreamer
    tell the world what youve seen
    But only I know whos my accuser
    only I know who Ive been

    Im now fleeing to the future
    while the past return to light
    And truth will thus be my suture
    with all its roses of might

    When all my hope seems truly lost
    Ill hear your voice again
    In blood Ill surely pay the cost
    buy liberation from your chain

    And when reality catches up
    straps me down on wire
    I will not bend, beg nor stop
    Ill walk through the valley of fire

    As the horizon comes to view
    while the sun is setting low
    All that once were seen as blue
    has now turned brightly yellow

    ... ... ...

    Submitted on 2006-11-14 07:40:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I loved the poem :) And since I can relate with the dreams bit, I found it particularly wonderful :) Also the ending, in which everything turns yellow is an analogy that I think I would use. So its totally my kind of a poem. Except I doubt I would have been able to write with the flourish that you did.

    The way you used a bit of dialog at the beginning really gives the poem a catchy but interesting start. One thing that I did not understand was "In blood Ill surely pay the cost buy liberation from your chain". What does the reference to blood show? Another point that I wanted to make was I liked the way you stated that you'd walk through the valley of fire. Makes you sound super confident. And it also allows dreams to be in the winning team, so I liked it.

    Hey, Ill fav it too. :) :D
    | Posted on 2006-11-14 00:00:00 | by fiery whisper | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Records I written by Raphael
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The World written by jjd
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Etiquette written by saartha
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]